Men in Black

"I wear the black for the poor and the beaten down/Livin’ in the hopeless, hungry side of town/I wear it for the prisoner who has long paid for his crime/But is there because he’s a victim of the times." -Johnny Cash

Hubbie came home last night, lookin pretty beaten down himself. He's been working really long hours lately and by the time he gets home it's almost my bedtime. But when he came home last night, dressed all in black with just the white of his t-shirt sticking out and picked up our black and white cat; well.... I just about died from an overdose of cuteness. I had to take a picture of my two men in black.

Something's Fishy

Saturday night The Marrieds had plans for dinner followed by a birthday party at the Short Stop. We haven't been too adventurous cuisine-wise lately, keeping our date nights to places places like Ca' Del Sole and Morton's. However, desperate for a change, FBP and I thought it'd be fun to try Sushi Go 55 in Little Tokyo.

We had heard a rumor that they fly in their fish daily from Japan so we were determined to find out what all the hype was about. It's in a mini mall and the restaurant couldn't be less romantic if it had pinball games and sawdust on the floor. However, when our waitress came over to take our order and we realized she didn't speak a word of English, and we were literally the only non-Asians in the place, I knew the food had to be good. Right?

Hubbie ordered the seaweed salad to start and FBP ordered the vinaigered shrimp. What came was a dinner salad with a piece of seaweed on top and sliced octopus. Hmmmm? This language barrier thing might prove to be a problem. From then on we just pointed to the menu and nodded once for each order we wanted. Giggles engulfed the table from that point on- whether it was the sake and Sapporo or just the challenge of making sure we didn't order the monk fish liver; we were simply giddy. The salmon was some of the best I've ever had and the yellow tail was like butter. I was forced to try a bite of soft shell crab and really wish I hadn't. I'll never understand the desire to eat something that is still in its shell.

From there we headed to the short stop for Rachel's birthday party. Here's some pictures from the evening. We were having a blast and ended up dancing the night away with a lovely lady named Erica, also seen below. By the time we stumbled out of the bar and made it home I couldn't keep my eyes open any longer. As I drifted off to sleep I couldn't help but smile a little, as another random "only in L.A." night came to a close.

Kabbullshit

I've been wanting to check out a class, (or series of classes) on Kabbalah for years now. I finally have some time in my schedule and could actually commit to a one night a week class. The Kabbalah Centre offers free introductory lectures for beginners Tuesday and Thursday nights, so last night I decided to go.

When I walked in I was greeted by two handsome young guys sitting at a table. They gave me a Hello My Name Is tag and asked me to fill out a form with my name, address, email, work profession (RED FLAG NUMBER ONE,) contact number and the usual how'd you hear about us box. (Let's see. I heard about Kabbalah since I'm Jewish and anyone who's awake while driving down Robertson can see the behemoth poster tauting the "free" lectures.)

I wrote my name on the sticker and was led to a small conference room with two round tables and a podium. I was the first to arrive so I picked a good spot, threw my stuff down and texted Hubbie. Two seconds later a gentleman comes in and sits RIGHT NEXT TO ME, even though there were seventeen other seats open. He introduces himself and he has a really thick Israeli accent so I couldn't quite make out what else he said.

That is until he said, "What brings you here?" (None of your business!)

"Well, I've always had an interest in Kabbalah and I am Jewish but don't go to temple much and I guess I'm looking for a little spirituality...in a nutshell" I say. I make it a point to look back down at my phone and continue texting because I don't want this guy hitting on me. Next thing i know he says, "so, you clean for Passover?"

"What?"

"YOU. You clean for passover, eh?" (Well, I plan on showering Monday, yes. WTF do you mean?)

"I'm sorry, what did you say?" as I raise an eyebrow. Then people start to file in. One woman was carrying a bottle of water so I asked her if there was a vending machine nearby. I had left mine in the car and was parched! She points over to the bookstore/giftshop. (RED FLAG NUMBER TWO) I run over and grab a bottle of water from the shelf and bring it to the register. It was then that I realized I was buying Kabbalah water. The label on the bottle literally read KABBALAH WATER and had a disclaimer at the bottom saying something like "although drinking water is good for your health, Kabbalah water makes no claims to be any better for you than regular old tap water but we're going to charge you $2.50 anyway because isn't the label cute with the clouds and red string?"

While I'm waiting to be rung up another woman comes up to me and says, "Samantha?"

"Yes???" I say.

"Come with me. Hurry up the class is starting!" she says with an almost shrill tone.

I run back to the conference room and still two more people wander in a few minutes after me, in no rush at all. Who was that woman and why did she single me out? (RED FLAG NUMBER THREE)

The lecture began by the teacher going around the room and asking what brought us there. There were only seven of us so that went by quickly. Especially since three of the seven didn't give an answer, one being Indecipherable Israeli dude.

After the forty-five minute lecture which was like listening to one big long teaser, the teacher asked if anyone had any questions. The guy to my right raises his hand and says, "I’m a personal life coach and I’m not making enough money. And I need to make a LOT more money than I do now. That is my biggest concern and I just want to know, will I learn how to make more money in this course? What class teaches about how to become rich? Does Madonna come to this center? On what nights? Any other celebrities come here? They do? OH that’s a bonus! So tell me, how much money can I expect to make after taking this course? As we all know you can never have enough money. And I just don't have enough money and I need to know what Kabbalah will do for me so I can make more money. And what if I miss a class, can I make it up? Can Madonna tutor me?"

I could not believe my ears. I was stunned. Was he kidding? Instead of the teacher saying something along the lines of this course isn't about making more money and if you're looking for that maybe you should take Donald Trump's Learning Annex class or better yet, hit up a Tony Robbins seminar.

Know what he said? "Kabbalah will make you a better businessman and bring wealth to you if you take these classes. Kabbalah can do amazing things in your life, you just need to know how to channel it."

Psycho says, "Ok great. When? When will I start making money? First class? Second class? If I take the class twice will I make twice as much money???"

The teacher says, "Why don't you ask one of our mentors here. Introduce yourselves. They are here to answer questions and assist you in the enrollment process." I look around and realize three of the seven people in the lecture are "mentors" there to get you to sign up for a ten week series. As soon as the teacher said that, the guy to my left says, "So, whaddaya think? Are you interested?" (NOT ANYMORE!!!!)

IndecipherableIsraeliDude...a mentor! There to chat me up I suppose. As soon as the teacher walked out it became very apparent that they were going for the hard sell on us. I wasn't gonna stick around for it either. I gathered my things and fished my keys out of my bag while I listened to INeedALotMoreMoneyMan tell a "mentor" that he had to check his calendar at home because HE TRAVELS A LOT FOR BUSINESS!!!!!

He said it so loud and so deliberate to make sure all seven of us heard him......in the 10 by 15 foot room. What a schmuck.

I high-tailed it out of there disappointed that I'd wasted an hour and a half, and sitting next to that shmegegge no less! I guess it's back to the drawing board for me as far as spirituality goes. In the meantime I'll go back to my old standby; drinking a bottle of wine while watching the Food Network. No doubt it's still when I feel the most peaceful.

Shalom!

What's next South Carolina??

Well well South Carolina, aren't we busy these days. Apparently your state has no other pressing issues, (pesky education, poverty, health care, employment rates, LITERACY etc.,) so you have all this time on your hands to handle some really important issues.

Like passing a bill to REQUIRE women to have ultrasounds before an abortion. Makes perfect sense don't it? A woman desperate enough to have to go through a procedure that is traumatic in and of itself, but YOU South Carolina, YOU want to REQUIRE the woman to see the fetus she's aborting. Maybe the woman will change her mind and keep the unwanted baby and you are fully prepared to support her mentally and financially.

Oh, what's that? You aren't? Ooooh, I see. You're prepared to give her a used crib and some diapers. Hmm. Ok then.

Well I did a little research and by golly! South Carolina has 38% of it's children living in Single Parent households. 3rd highest below Mississipi (highest) and Louisiana, (second highest.) SHOCKING! For a state that's so moral and God-fearing.

Moving right along. Today I stumble across this headline.

South Carolina officially bans gay marriage; New Hampshire takes step toward civil unions.
Ahhhh I see. We can't let those evil homosexuals be equal with us you say. "Nearly four out of five South Carolina voters approved the amendment, which reads, "A marriage between one man and one woman is the only lawful domestic union that shall be valid or recognized in this state.""

Wait wait, let me guess! You guys passed this amendment because you had to make sure the institution of marriage is kept sacred, correct? Hmm, I think I'll do a little more internet research.

From Foxnews.com on March 2nd, 2007
"CLINTON, S.C. — A 23-year-old former teacher accused of having sex with five teenage boys was released from jail Friday after her father posted her bail.

Allena Williams Ward will be confined to her home, able to leave only for church and lawyer visits, and must wear an electronic monitor. She also must have no contact with the boys with whom she was accused of having sex.

According to arrest warrants, Ward, who is married, had sexual encounters in the past three months with the 14- and 15-year-old boys at Bell Street Middle School, at a motel, in a park and behind a restaurant. She is charged with sexual misconduct."

Seems to me you folks in good ole' South Carolina have some problems that have nothing to do with a woman's right to chose OR homosexuals and their right to get married.

As I said in my email to friends and family, I hope people stop going there on vacation, ESPECIALLY homosexual DINKS,(double income no kids folks,) and I hope the film community, (which is filled with homosexuals,) stop dumping money into that state to film there.

And that's my two cents.

Nevermind!!!

At 4:00pm today my boss informed me that we had to get 4 specific cheerleader uniforms to London by tomorrow. Was that possible?

Ummm, let me see. NO. Why do you ask?

The thing about production is, why ask if it's possible or not? If it needs to happen, it needs to happen. If I had to sew those uniforms together myself and ride with them in the cargo bin of a FedEx plane, they were gonna get to London by tomorrow.

Of course our director had very specific ideas about which ones he wanted, and the costume house that owns them had already rented 2 of the 4 uniforms to some unknown TV show called Scrubs or something. Did that deter his plans? Nope. Before I could say, "ain't gonna happen bud," I was in the car trying to get from Santa Monica to Glendale in one hour. In 5:00 LA traffic.

To add insult to injury, (LITERALLY,) two exits into my death race was an accident that warranted 15 police cars to STOP TRAFFIC COMPLETELY on the most traveled freeway in Los Angeles. As I sat there at a dead stop wondering if this person's careless driving would cost me my job, I remembered that Hubbie works just minutes from said costume house, and could get there in a jiffy.

God bless Hubbie. He was there within minutes, (dropping everything at his own job to spare me mine,) and up on a ladder pulling cheer skirts and asking the difference between piping and pleats. Because nothing is ever easy in this business, he could only find a royal blue skirt and navy blue top. Or a burnt orange top and "reddish" skirt without stripes. Exactly the opposite of what we needed.

Traffic finally cleared and I was cruising at a swift 90 down the freeway, running through all the things I'd have to pack. Toothbrush, pajamas, sweater, ZANAX! Holy crap, I'm going to be on a plane longer than on the ground! I hate flying! I hate flying alone even more! Will they book me in business class? Will it matter when we're plummeting to the ground from 30,000 feet? SON OF A!

Usually I have weeks, if not months to prepare myself for a flight. Here I am with hours and it started to sink in. Was this the universe's little way of making me get over my fear of flying?

As I turned off the freeway ramp (on two wheels) and headed for the home stretch, Hubbie had found 2 of the 4 outfits needed. I had 10 minutes to find something comparable to replace the other two and pay for them before closing. Then I'd go home and pack, find my passport, talk to the travel agent, get a hotel, book a car service and forage for ZANAX!

Then, amidst the four voices talking all at once on my cell, I hear, "forget it."

Forget it? What?

"What????" I say.

"Forget it. It's off..." I hear my PA say, clear as a bell.

We all hung up just as I pulled in the driveway to the costume house. I see my Hubbie walking out of the warehouse with his hands in the air just shaking his head, smiling.

"Welcome to my world!!!" I say and go to give him a hug. He lit a cigarette and we had a giggle. I knew it was no use to get mad or pout. It's just another day in production. I'm not surprised. I've been doing this 8 years and episodes like this are as common as traffic in L.A.

What does continue to surprise me is my AWESOME Hubbie's devotion and the amount of support he's able to give. He truly is my knight in shining armor and I love him dearly.

Nobody Told Me There'd Be Days Like These

Buying a house really is the most stressful event in the world. Well, maybe being a P.O.W or something is, but buying a house is probably second. I had no idea what we were getting into and if we make it through this with our limbs and sanity intact I'll be shocked.
While I search sites like West Elm looking for the perfect bedroom set, Christian looks for the closest homeless shelter to Woodland Hills because that's where he's convinced we'll end up after completing all the necessary repairs.
Meanwhile, he still has no idea what's in store for him in the next week. I'm afraid to write anything about it for fear that he may check this site so I'll just keep my mouth shut. Last night he gave me a dozen roses and a heart box o' chocolates for Valentine's Day. The card was the best part- said something like "I'd give you all the love I have but it's in escrow." CUTE. And below that he drew a picture of a guy with glasses (him) drooling. It was exactly something my dad would have done.
Of course I burst into tears but was laughing at the same time. What a mess. I explained and he understood completely. I love that man so much.
Keep you posted on the home.

Douchebag Of The Year

From JMG:
This far right activist was convicted of incitement and sentenced to the maximum five years in prison Thursday for anti-Semitic activities, including contributing to a Web site dedicated to Holocaust denial.

Ernst Zundel was deported to his native Germany from Canada in 2005 and has also lived in Tennessee. He and his supporters have argued that he is a peaceful campaigner denied his right to free speech.


Unbelievable.

Our new home

A Day in the life of FOOSH

There's so much going on I don't know where to start. Well, the fish above is named Foosh. He's my boss's fish, given to him by his part-time girlfriend. Since my boss has a busier schedule than our President and doesn't even live in Los Angeles, I have been fish-sitting. And in the process have learned more than I ever thought I'd know about the lovely betta spendens fish. This little guy has more personality than most people I know. I bought him a new plant for his apartment, (bowl,) bloodworms, (to a betta that's akin to filet mignon,) and a temperature strip sticker so I can monitor the water temp. I think he realized he's being spoiled by me and in return entertains me all day long with his funny fish antics.

For instance, he will wiggle like crazy when I start to walk up to the bowl. And if I ignore him for a while, (actually work,) he does little drive bys on his side waving one fin. My favorite behaviour of all is when he plays Hide N' Go Foosh. He burrows down and hides behind the temperature sticker, but unknowingly just a little part of his red fin is sticking up behind it. It's so funny. The highlight of my week, (I kid you not,) was when I came in Tuesday morning and he'd built a bubble nest. I got the same feeling as I imagine a parent gets when their 8 year old scores a soccer goal or something. I even hugged the bowl.

I realize someday I may have to go on meds.

In other news I've been waiting all week to hear if we got THE HOUSE we put an offer on last Saturday. We offered, they countered Tuesday, we countered Thursday morning and now we wait. And wait. And wait some more. My nerves are shot.

The house has 2 and a half bedrooms (inside joke) and 1 and a half baths. Great kitchen, yard and light. The payment is enough to buy a small country but we've been wanting to buy for 2 years now and this house seems right.

Last night I had a dream that the seller wouldn't accept our offer. We were walking through the house together and I would point out the popcorn ceiling (which isn't there in real life,) and he would say, "yeah so???" It was so frustrating.

Well it's 12:47 and no word from our realtor. The only thing that's keeping me calm is watching Foosh starting to blow new bubbles, for hopefully a lovely weekend project. I'm going to get him a little shell or something to play Hide N' Go Foosh this weekend. I'm also getting a long overdue facial tomorrow and getting together w/ my FBP (future business partner) to go over some plans for an upcoming party.

Will check in tomorrow.

It's kind of like a sunburn, but on your crotch.

I haven't written in so long, and I really don't have an excuse. It's been a busy, productive week. Went out to Ivan Kane's 40 Deuce for a birthday party last Friday night and had a blast with some friends. Sunday I enjoyed a lovely brunch at Veronika's house where I proceeded to stuff my face with way too much brioche. This week at work has been relatively uneventful, well, except for the fact that I now have a Siamese fighting fish as an office pet. I brought him in my office because it's the warmest in the building. And while I'm usually the first to complain about it, (especially when I have armpit stains at 10:30 a.m.,) I like that my sauna of an office is the perfect environment for my new friend.

Tomorrow is my first laser treatment appointment. I'm getting laser hair removal on my bikini line and while I'm thrilled at the prospect of never having to shave or wax again, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't the slightest bit nervous. I believe it's human nature to be somewhat reluctant towards having someone pointing a laser beam at your nether regions. I was told afterwards it would feel like a sunburn. But I'm bringing the vicodin just in case.

Well, I'm going to end this post now because I don't think I could be more boring if I tried. I'll leave you with a little taste of what working in production is like. If you're offended by foul language I'd stop reading right here. This is from my FBP (future business partner)sent to me via IM around 5:12pm. It's pure perfection and just about anyone in production will get a real kick out of it. It's somewhat of a nonsequitur but you get the gist.

FUCKING 1st FUCKING AD (This is my favorite part of the rant. I wish that title fit on a callsheet.)

IM NOT THE FUCKING CAMERA DEPARMENT YOU FUCKING FUCK.. I DONT KNOW WHAT FUCKING GEAR THEY NEED FOR WHAT SHOT. I KNOW WE NEED A DOGGIE CAM, I KNOW THEY NEED TO CALL DOGGIE CAM, I KEEP ASKING THEM IF THEY'VE ORDER THE PROPER GEAR FOR THE SHOT..

IF I DID, I'D BE IN THE FUCKING CAMERA DEPARTMENT!!!!

Thank God It's Friday folks! Have a good weekend.

Top 10 List Of What Not To Say To Me If I Am Interviewing You For A Position.

10) Nothing personal, but I think working in commercials would be a good jumping off point to get to my real goal- to work in film. (Oh really? Well then go get a job in film.)

9) You guys do Post Effects right? (NO jerkoff. Why didn't you go to our website (WHICH I LISTED ON THE JOB ADVERTISEMENT) to see what we actually do before coming to the interview. It's called PREPARING.)

8) Will I be guaranteed a job after the 3 month internship? (Would it be called a 3 month internship if there was a guaranteed permanent job at the end of it? If you haven't managed to piss me off after the three months has passed, I'll let you know if something permanent has opened.)

7) How old ARE you??? (I shit you not.)

6) I'm also a freelance actress and was wondering if I could leave early Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays for my "method" class. Oh and I may get last minute auditions that I'd have to run out to but you don't have to pay me while I'm gone. Oh, and if you could consider me when you're casting in L.A. that'd be great. (Not for all the tea in China sweetie.)

5) I applied for this internship two years ago but I never heard from you. (Crap! I knew you looked familiar! You're the one who listed taxidermy has a hobby. Eeew.)

4) What can I say that will convince you to hire me? I'll wash your car. I'll wash your boss's car! What's your favorite color? (Security!!?!?!)

3) I'm a director. I graduated Art Center. I brought my reel for you to view. My influences are Terry Gilliam and Darren Aronofsky. I take my work very seriously and would like this opportunity to grace your company with my presence. (Go F yourself.)

2) Hey, can I have a couple quarters for the meter? (You must be kidding. Or you must REALLY need this job.)

1) I went out on a limb here and brought you some avocados. Do you like avocados? (Yes.) I brought you some from my mom's yard. (Hands me plastic bag with about eight of them in it.) Do you like music? (Uhh, yeah.) Here, I took the liberty to make you a CD of a band I like. I'm a go getter, and as you can see, I'm pretty good at reading people! So when can I start? (How bout' never times infinity? Do you like infinity?)

I'll have a Veggie Burger with a side of hypocrisy

Today is day seven of no meat. I'm really taking my resolution seriously and for a moment I started to pat myself on the back. One whole week of me not contributing to the mistreatment of animals! Not too bad. Has my PETA card arrived? Pam Anderson's gonna be my new best friend!


However, I have been eating enough fish these past few days to have every stray cat in the neighborhood surround my car when I get home. And from what I've read, the fishing industry isn't much better. But ya know? I can only do so much! I haven't committed to cutting meat out completely, but I must admit this last week didn't require that much effort or sacrafice.

Yesterday at the grocery market I did buy a pork tenderloin and ground turkey. I told my husband I'd cook the tenderloin, (which he LOVES,) tomorrow night. But to be perfectly honest, I could go another week meat-free. It's not fair for me to expect him to eat twigs and berries with me just because a book inspired me. Also we're going out to dinner for a friend's birthday here Saturday night and you bet your tushy I'll be getting me some braised meat! YUMMMMM.

In other news, last night the Hubbie and I had a lovely dinner, (salmon cakes over salad) and wine and discussed going to Italy. I showed him the cities I wanted to visit and told him a rough itinerary I was thinking about. He asked that I put it all together for him with prices of air, hotel, lodging, trains- all in an easy to read fashion. Than said, "That's not too much for you is it?"

The smile on his face indicated he was kidding. He knows nothing gets me hotter than making little organized binders for trips. I get little ONE thru TEN dividers and print color pictures and hotel ideas off the internet. Map directions, currency conversion tables, population and ethnicity rates....

I like to be prepared.

A good friend of mine called me C R A Z Y when I told her how much I was looking forward to doing "The Book." She said all she needs to travel is a plane ticket, sunglasses and a throw away camera. What are you kidding?

Different strokes I guess.

New Year's Resolutions

So I started this blog to not only record my day to day, (ok ok rather, week to week,) silly former valley girl existence, but to also recall memories and set goals. Ones that I can look back and reflect upon and, well, as far as goals go- actually attain. For the first time I'm going to actually take my New Year's resolutions seriously.

No, really.

I mean it! And now that these are out in cyberspace I have to live up to them.... RIGHT? Because all 2 of you reading this will hold me accountable.

Ok, maybe not. Fine. Whatever. Here it goes.

(In no particular order...)

1) Get more active- gym, walks, yoga- ANYTHING to get my heart rate up besides drugs. (just kidding mom!) But seriously, make at least one time a week that my heart races due to something else besides one of my Director's wanting to fire their maid and asking me to do it.

2) Eat less meat. I know that makes me sound like a dirty hippie BUT, I just read Jane Goodall's Reason For Hope: A Spiritual Journey and it changed everything for me. (Since I'm pretty much daily meat eater.)

3) Travel to Italy. (LOOKING FOR FLIGHTS)

4) Do more for charity. (To my defense I do give money. But I either need to give more or donate actual time. There's no time like the holidays to make you feel grateful for what you have.) (And fight with your family =) )

5) Buy a house.

6) Start scrapbooking. (Ok, I just gagged a little too BUT, I am kinda sentimental AND know for a fact that some day I'll be drooling on myself in an old-age home and want nothing more than to see my own pictures- displayed in an easy-to-read BLOWN-UP format WITH captions fashion.) Run on sentence anyone???

7) Get pregnant. (Ok, that was REALLY hard to type.) So here's the deal. I'm pretty sure I want a kid. Of course I do, right? One kid seems ok for the time being. But it scares the living crap outta me. No more sleep. No more last minute plans. No more PERSONAL life. BUT, will I wake up one day and wonder why I didn't start having children earlier? Am I healthy enough to wait???

8) Figure out a "home-based" business with my friend, (and you know who you are,) that will allow me to, well... I don't know... NOT DRIVE THREE HOURS A DAY IN HELLISH LOS ANGELES TRAFFIC!!! Holy "crap", (expletive replaced due to unknown readers...,) when the F' did this city become so FRIGGIN crowded??? I'm officially LOSING IT.

Tonight for instance, on my way home from work I was LITERALLY banging my head to Bohemian Rhapsody (which is such a GREAT SONG!!!,) when I realized I had my "bird" finger cocked and ready. Some non-L.A. natives would think this might get me shot one day, but no, I drive through Santa Monica, Beverly Hills and Mid-City. Unless one of those beemers in front of me is "packin'", I'm pretty sure I can get my point across without being killed.

I'm sure I'll add to this in the next few days but for now, here they are.

EEEK

XO

Today Elliott Smith's Waltz #2 came on my shuffled itunes.
I wasn't prepared for such a visceral reaction, especially at work. My
stomach sank and tears welled up in my eyes. Not because Elliott is now
deceased, (no I didn't know him and I don't know why I just called him
by his first name. I hate when people do that.) I think I choked up
because I had flashed back to those feelings that he so often sang
about.

Desperation. Loneliness. Sickness.

Wash. Rinse. Repeat.

It reminds me of a time in my life where I was struggling to keep the
wheels on the cart and not succumb to a brown abyss. Where I spent
every day in a frantic scramble to get myself together, only to have
more and more chaos ensue.

The weird thing is, even 8 years later I still relate to this song. Only now it's under different circumstances.

I'm here today and expected to stay on and on and on
I'm tired
I'm tired

Looking out on the substitute scene
Still going strong
XO, Mom
It's ok, it's alright, nothing's wrong

Tell Mr. Man with impossible plans to just leave me alone
In the place where I make no mistakes
In the place where I have what it takes

I'm never gonna know you now
But I'm gonna love you anyhow
I'm never gonna know you now
But I'm gonna love you anyhow
I'm never gonna know you now
But I'm gonna love you anyhow

I have to go back to work now but my hope is that I never lose touch with
those feelings. Because then I'd forget to feel grateful for where I am
today, and all the things I mistakenly take for granted.

Can someone tell me

How the F I post my pic on my profile but not on the main blog page???? I'm stumped.

I just called to reserve an airport shuttle for our annual migration east. I understand that my husband and I aren't the ONLY ones traveling 2 days before Christmas but can someone give me a F'ing break? Our flight is tomorrow night at 9:30 pm. The shuttle wants to pick us up at 5:30 pm. It only seats 7! Who else are we picking up? And from where? Sylmar??

I asked the reservation agent if it just might be easier for them to pick us up tonight- you know, to be sure! Jeez. My blood pressure is already rising. I'm also stressed out that my driver's license says my married name and my e-ticket says my maiden. I'm bringing a copy of my marriage certificate but, (and not to stereotype here,) but in MY HUMBLE OPINION, the TSA folks I've encountered have shown less brain power than my chair. A simple thing like a name change might just get me pulled aside and strip searched, who knows?

At least we can travel with liquids again. Well, at least ones that are less than 3 ounces and packaged separately in a zip lock quart sized baggy that can be x-rayed. Ahhh, the joys of flying with lip gloss again. Now I won't look like Nosferatu when I arrive D.C and see my inlaws. YIPPEE.

Hope ya'll have a great non-denominational winter-type holiday that may or may not fall in the month of December. =)

Trying to figure out this darn pic thing

Taken directly from PETA's website

I'm sorry for such a downer post so close to the holidays but I couldn't help but re-post this. Please take some time to read and clink on the few links. I rarely check PETA's site because I cry every time, but once in a while we have to force ourselves to see what's actually happening right under our noses. Possibly in lieu of a gift this season you could make a donation to one of the animal friendly organizations.

Inside Covance U.S.

Introduction

PETA's investigator was hired by Covance as a technician and worked inside the company's primate testing lab in Vienna, Virginia, from April 26, 2004, to March 11, 2005. The investigator's video documentation inside the lab started on July 30, 2004, and what she documented-the terror, sadness, sickness, injuries, suffering, and deaths of monkeys from the wild and Covance's own breeding facilities—will leave even the staunchest supporter of animal testing ashamed and all good people clamoring for justice. It will also make it perfectly clear that government oversight of labs such as Covance is a farce.

At Covance, animal technicians called the head veterinarian "Mr. Let's Wait and See." The primate staff—even those who were, themselves, often cruel to the monkeys—complained repeatedly about a young monkey with a broken arm being left untreated in his cage for four days. Apparently, "Mr. Let's Wait and See," the head vet at Covance, didn't know what to do about the bone break, and so he waited for a junior veterinarian to return from her time off. The junior vet immediately ordered the animal euthanized as the break was too severe to repair. She discovered and disclosed that the head veterinarian had given the baby monkey a drug that had little more effect than that of an aspirin for his unimaginable pain.

Other Documented Horrors for Animals at Covance

• Striking and choking "uncooperative" monkeys
• Screaming curses at frightened, sick monkeys
• Slamming monkeys into their cages after they've had dosing tubes rammed down their throats
• Hosing down cages with monkeys still inside, soaking the animals
• A loose monkey terrorized by a technician who slams cages into walls to scare the animal out of hiding
• Monkeys with chronic rectal prolapses-painful protrusions of the intestines through the rectum-resulting from constant stress and diarrhea
• Monkeys who died horribly in tests for a drug company-the veterinarian was forbidden to examine them or provide any treatment, including euthanasia
• Small monkeys dosed with large tubes forced up their nostrils and down into their stomachs, causing choking, gagging, and daily bloody noses
• Monkey self-mutilation resulting from Covance's failure to provide psychological enrichment and socialization
• Injuries left untreated until they became necrotic
• Nonstop blaring rock music

What can you do?

PETA has a very active anti-vivisection campaign and works tirelessly to stop animal testing. Thanks to the support of caring individuals like you, we are making real headway in our fight against vivisection. You can help:

• Purchase only cruelty-free products and donate only to health charities that never fund animal experiments.
  
  
• Boycott Iams and other pet food companies that conduct cruel nutritional tests on dogs and cats and support forward-thinking companies that conduct humane home testing or laboratory analysis of foods. Learn what you can do to help animals in Iams laboratories.
  

Contact medical schools
• that use animals for "education" and ask them to eliminate live-animal labs from their curricula.
  
  
• Help stop the animal abuse at Columbia University, where baboons are subjected to invasive surgeries and left to suffer and die in cages without any painkillers.
  
  
• Find out what you can do to stop the cruel spinal experiments performed on cats and rats at Palmer Chiropractic University. If you are an employee of Palmer Chiropractic University and have witnessed extreme cruelty to animals there, please report what you saw.
  
  
• Become a behind-the-scenes hero for animals! PETA is always looking for undercover investigators.
  
  
• If you have witnessed cruelty in any other laboratory, please report what you saw.
  
  
• Refuse to contribute to charities such as Environmental Defense, the World Wildlife Fund, and the Natural Resources Defense Council, which, surprisingly, help fund the cruel animal experiments performed by the Environmental Protection Agency. Read our complete list of "mean greenies."
  
  
• Write your representatives in Congress to demand that humane alternatives to animal experiments be used. Refer to PETA's helpful guide to writing effective letters.
  
  
• Read PETA's factsheet on alternatives to animal testing and learn how you can help animals who are used for experimentation.
  
  
• Visit AnimalActivist.com for even more ways to get active for animals.
  

Not your average Bowie

When I was a kid I had this Peter and the Wolf record and accompanying picture book. I used to play that record over and over again, turning the pages and looking at the pictures every time as if it were my first. When I'd hear the French horns play the Wolf's theme song, chills would run down my spine. I can still see the picture on the outside cover of the album, where saliva is literally dripping off the Wolf's teeth as he creeps up on the little unaware boy. SCARY!

I have a vivid memory of lying in bed with only my nightlight on and one of the sliding doors to my closet was cracked open. On the floor of the closet, propped up and leaning on my shoe rack was my Peter and the Wolf Album. The dim light from my nightlight just barely lit up the saliva covered TEETH, which was all I could see in the dark abyss of my closet. I pulled my frilly eyelet blanket up close to my mouth and thought very hard about what my options were.

I could stay in bed and simply spend the night staring at the teeth, making sure they didn't make any funny moves. I could yell out for my parents to come take the teeth away, but being all of 7 years old at the time, I wouldn't want them to think I was a baby. The third option seemed the most plausible, yet the most terrifying. I would leap out of bed, and hopefully only have my feet touch ground once in order to reach the closet, slam the door shut, and leap back on to my bed. Thereby lessening the risk that another set of unseen teeth, (that may be hiding under my bed in cahoots with the ones in the closet,) could jump out and have time to nip at my ankles. And that's what I did. And so help me, I'm not sure my feet actually touched the ground at all.

I can almost feel my increased heartbeat, cold sweat and slimy palms, just the way they were that terrifying night as I sit here listening to David Bowie and the Philadelphia Orchestra doing Peter and the Wolf. Amazing the things you retain from such a young age.

I'm convinced I truly feel classical music because I was introduced to it at such a young impressionable age. We'd spend Fourth of Julys at the Hollywood Bowl with picnics and blankets on our laps. We'd wave our little American flags and I'd cry at the end of the 1812 Overture. I still do! Sometimes you'll find me blasting Bolero on my ipod instead of the usual Dandy Warhols. And as I'm listening now, I love Peter and the Wolf as much as I did as a kid, playing it on my Fisher Price record player.

Last I saw of that record (a long long time ago,) it was packed up in the den of my parents house. Must make it a point to get it back, even just to see if those teeth are as big as I remember. =)

Tis' the season to be totally wiped out

I have no idea how I let this much time pass w/out blogging. (Man I HATE that word. Maybe because it sounds so much like a hybrid of Barfing and Gagging? Maybe because all this self-indulgence does induce a gag or two once in a while?)

I know all 2 of you have been checking this site daily wondering if I've got "consumption" or some other sickness that would render me incapable of sitting up and typing. But nope. Just busy.

I have so much on my mind lately that to put it all down, (in a cohesive blogging fashion,) would require more brainpower than I can commit to right now. SO, I'll sum it up like this.

Thanksgiving was a success. Well, until around 11pm when we had to pull over on the way home to let one of the girls puke. A little too much HOLIDAY CHEER I suppose.

Speaking of holidays, dontchya just love this time of year? I put up all our Christmas decorations last night and Hubbie and I sat for an hour, listening to "Holiday Hits" basking in the glow of the twinkle lights. I just love sh*t like that! This weekend I'm hoping to convince him to take me to Pershing Square for a little outdoor ice skating. I mean, it just doesn't GET more Norman Rockwell than that! (Of course it'll be 80 degrees out...not exactly baby it's cold outside weather.)

I'm currently in the midst of family drama that I just don't want to get into right now. What I will say is that I need to make a commitment to myself to get these HUGE resentments off my chest and into the ears of the person who least wants to hear it. It will be a challenge. I'm considering writing a letter, (which was her way of dealing with it so I guess that's the level of communication she's comfortable with right now.) It's just odd to not be talking to the person whom I talk to the most. Bah.

More to write but must get going now.

Some Friday fun for you and me!

Soundtrack shuffle

IF YOUR LIFE WAS A MOVIE, WHAT WOULD THE SOUNDTRACK BE?

So, here’s how it works:
1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For every question, type the song that’s playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button
6. Don’t lie and try to pretend you’re cool…

Opening Credits: Sunday Morning Coming Down- Kris Kristofferson
Okkkkk- that's kinda weird.

Well I woke up Sunday morning,
With no way to hold my head that didn't hurt.
And the beer I had for breakfast wasn't bad,
So I had one more for dessert.

Waking Up: Annie's Song- John Denver
Gag. What the hell is wrong with my shuffle? LOL

First Day At School: Big Indian- The Dandy Warhols
PERFECT!

well my friends do me so right,
I'm lucky this far,
maybe it's karma,
I get over them, but,
only at times.
well the future is frightening,
and I seem to be fighting it,
but soon as it's brightening,
well the future is brightening.

Falling In Love: Ghost Highway- Mazzy Star

Fight Song: I've Been Everywhere- Johnny Cash
Umm, this makes no sense whatsoever. Good song though.

Breaking Up: Stand- R.E.M.
Ok this isn't really turning out how I thought.

Prom: Live For Today- The Grass Roots.
Hmmm, yeah, that's cool I guess. IF I WENT TO PROM IN 1967!!!

Life: Nightrain- Guns n' Roses.
HAHAHHAH. Wow. There's just so much I could say about this.

Loaded like a freight train
Flyin' like an aeroplane
Feelin' like a space brain
One more time tonight

Mental Breakdown: Hey You- Pink Floyd
Perfect for that "mental breakdown" scene ON ACID!!!

Driving: New Life- Depeche Mode
(Would have preferred Never Let Me Down Again, which was written about Dave's car.)

Flashback: Xanadu- Rush
Why the hell is this survey making me look like such a hesher???
(Definition, found at www.urbandictionary.com: “Long-haired, usually mulleted person who listens and rocks out to metal or thrash music. Generally seen wearing acid-washed jeans, leather motorcycle or denim jacket covered with band and skull patches. Will often have a molester mustache.”)

Getting Back Together: Sowing The Seeds Of Love- Tears For Fears

Wedding: Draining The Pool For You- The Go-Betweens

Birth of Child: Crimson and Clover- Joan Jett

Final Battle: Lady Stardust- David Bowie

Death Scene: Elizabeth My Dear- The Stone Roses
Eeek. This actually gave me chills. Very cool.

Funeral Song: Return To Me- Chris Isaak
Now this is getting CREEPY

End Credits: Way Down Now- World Party
BRAVO!!! Love it!