An Open Letter to Urban Outfitters

You know, we go back a long while. All the way back to the days where my grandma took me "back to school" shopping and I had to convince her all the kids in high school wanted to look like this.

Ok, maybe it was just me and my grungy/hippie/stoner/(clearly cool) friends but whatever.

Point is, we've had a relationship a long time. You were there through my college years when I clearly could NOT afford you but somehow made it work on my few trips down from Santa Barbara. You were there when I got my first "real job" and ran to your newly opened doors on Melrose, only to become a little nauseous by your new ridiculous prices- which forced me to supplement my wardrobe at Aardvarks and Buffalo Exchange.

But I was still loyal. That is, until you started blaring music so horrid........ that to shop in your store for a mere 30 minutes, left me twitching and buzzing like a raver after a candy-flipping party.

And that's when we temporarily parted ways. I just couldn't take one more day of walking between your tightly packed racks of cheaply-made-fade-after-one-wash-good-luck-wearing-it-more-than-twice garments. On my new, meager Receptionist salary, I just couldn't continue seeing you as often as we once did.

I thought you'd understand. I thought neither of us were bitter. So Ok, I didn't call you for five years. So????? I came back to your new location on Ventura Blvd. I was excited by the familiar smell of overly-priced pomegranate scented candles. I was tickled by the racks of jeans in every different cut, style and wash. I was worked into a frenzy by your hook of dyed ladies slips which I can never find in my size.

So I spent $315.00 in one spree. Makes up for lost time, no?

In that spree I put an $18.00 silver/gold chain necklace with a bird charm. When I unpacked my goods last night it wasn't there. I looked and looked, turned the bag upside down, and nothing. (OH COME-ON!!!)

Today I called you. I know it was awkward, but that's what happens when you don't speak for FIVE YEARS. I explained to you how you let me down, ONCE AGAIN. You told me this never happens and the loss is probably my fault. (Not a chance.)

After an uncomfortable exchange you told me my only option is to drive back with my receipt, (2o miles out of my way,) and hope that you are still carrying the same chain. Really???? You can't credit my card? You can't email me a credit? I now have to set aside time to drive all the way back to your location, which I just HAPPENED to stumble into after all these years because, I HAPPENED to be in the neighborhood???????

I guess we have to just accept each other for who we are. I guess we might need some more time apart to appreciate our quirks. But for now, we're officially on a break. I will be back this weekend to retrieve my necklace, but you can be sure I won't be calling you for a long while.

So there.