Thursday, May 22, 2008

This might make me unpopular

But sometimes I really like my job.  Of course, given the chance I'd quit in a heartbeat to pursue my real passions- playing with furry animals and napping.  But, while I still have to work, this place ain't so bad.  As I type this I'm watching an agency producer teach my receptionist how to swing a golf club.  Earlier this morning we watched as two puppies gleefully wrestled in the main lobby.  (We are now a bring-your-dog-to-work company and it's fantastic.)  Never underestimate the power of a Pug to reduce stress levels.

The best addition to our recent transition into the "fun office" is a Wii console with GUITAR HERO.  On any given day you can walk by the large conference room and see anyone from the executive producer to the research assistant belting out Paranoid on a plastic guitar with the fervor of Tony Iommi.  In retrospect, we should have bought this long ago.  There's a marked change in the attitude of the office as a whole, and it's refreshing.  For a couple years here it was grim.  Nothing but doom and gloom, tension and drama and good ole' irrational tongue lashings.  Just when I'd hit my limit on verbal abuse, things changed.  People left the company and a new dynasty started.  And it's a beautiful thing.

However, the commute still blows wad and I'm never going to get used to driving two to three hours a day in the 8th ring of hell, also known as the Los Angeles metro area.  But soon, VERY SOON, I will be making that commute home, to our HOME, that we have waited so patiently for.  And that is also, a beautiful thing.

Friday, May 02, 2008

The hits keep on comin'

Last night on the way home from work I got a ticket for "obstructing traffic." I was following a HUMMER with black out windows on to the freeway on-ramp. Out of nowhere Arnold, I mean, the HUMMER owner, came to a screeching halt, leaving me right behind him with the tail end of my car in the intersection. Had I been able to see above, around or through his black out windows I might have stopped before following him through the intersection, but I didn't.

My car was sticking out in the intersection for all of 10 seconds and I was pulled over by a motorcycle cop. It was 6pm on Thursday night, arguably the height of rush hour traffic and the streets were gridlocked. But still this cop insisted on pulling me over, which took a good ten minutes to weave through the piled up cars and over to the right. By pulling me over we ended up blocking an entire lane of southbound traffic because there's "no stopping" between 4pm-7pm.

I rolled down my window and gave him my license & registration. He went back to his bike and I thought he was just going to run my license to make sure I wasn't an escaped convict or drug runner. But NOOOOOOOO! I look in my rear-view mirror and he's writing me a ticket! It took him a good 15 minutes to write the ticket. ( I dunno, maybe that's why he became a traffic cop? Because the only literature he can handle is Highlights magazine.) Those 15 minutes blocking the southbound lane made bad traffic even WORSE. But he was hell bent on giving me that ticket! Not the blacked out TANK in front of me.

He handed me the ticket, told me my court date and then said "be safe getting back on the freeway, ok?" Eat me.

I smiled and looked down at the ticket before driving away. The violation said "Obstructing Traffic/ Anti-gridlock Law." Hmmm, that's funny. Why you ask? Oh, well, there was a little protest yesterday that did a little obstructing of it's own. Maybe you heard about it?

Immigration & Labor March and Rally

To save you the time of reading the whole press release I'll just post some pertinent snippets.

"The Labor and Immigration March and Rally will take place on Thursday, May 1, 2008. Traffic impacts in Downtown Los Angeles may be felt on any street within the area bounded by Cesar Chavez Avenue to the north, Alameda Street to the east, Pico Boulevard to the south and Hoover Street to the west beginning at 11:00 am in the morning and lasting throughout the day"

"Due to all four marches occurring almost simultaneously, Downtown Los Angeles traffic will be severely impacted during the pm peak hours within the quadrants of Broadway from Pico Boulevard to Temple Street and 5th Street between Alameda Street and Figueroa Street."

"Many roadways in Downtown Los Angeles will be impacted for most of the afternoon."

"Traffic impacts will be severe in Downtown Los Angeles during the afternoon rush hour."

You get the gist. To give you an idea of how this little march affected us Angelenos I'll tell you a story. I work with a guy named Tim. It was Tim's birthday yesterday and all his buddies threw a dinner for him at a swanky restaurant in West Hollywood. Please note West Hollywood is NOWHERE NEAR DOWNTOWN. Tim left Santa Monica at 7:30 to be at his birthday dinner at 8:30. Long story short, (too late,) Tim ended up eating a meatloaf dinner for one from Boston Market, ALONE, ON HIS BIRTHDAY, because the traffic was so snarled he couldn't get near the restaurant. He finally got home at 10:15 pm. Sounds like some people had obstructed traffic well past where they were supposed to be marching.

But, I'm the one who got a ticket and am forced to take time off work to appear in court AND pay a fine. On any other day this would have been a simple annoyance. But I find it deeply unfair, not to mention ironic that all I was trying to do was get home from WORK, and I am penalized for "obstructing traffic," while a rally full of people can obstruct traffic for hours with no consequence.

It's not that I have a problem with our rights to gather and protest peacefully, but again, I get a ticket for OBSTRUCTING TRAFFIC?????????? So absurd.

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

What a Week

Last Saturday, the first night of Passover, my little red fish died. He'd been struggling with fin rot for months and despite all my attempts to save him with meds, he passed on. I've been taking it particularly hard since he was my office buddy and we spent all day every day together. Some have said I spent more time with him than the Hubbie. Sad state of affairs, I know. Anyway, we buried him in my parents' backyard next to Mokey and Buzzie- our two deceased cats. Kind of twisted to bury a fish between two cats, but I'm pretty sure they're getting along fine. As I sit here at my desk, I'm looking at his little empty tank and I miss him terribly. As I've said before, he was hands down the most charismatic fish I've ever seen. He would actually swim up to me when I approached the tank and do a little dance. I'm thinking about getting another one but for now, I just need to mourn the passing of Mr. Foosh.

As if that wasn't enough, we got news that my grandma had a "mini" stroke a few weeks ago. This "mini" stroke has left her for the most part ok, except she gets confused easily and forgets simple things. Truthfully, I was worried that she drove herself to our Passover seder and I'm wondering how to approach the subject of her possibly giving up her license. She told the Hubbie that while driving over, she found herself in the oncoming traffic lane on Sunset Blvd and had to quickly move over to avoid an accident. Frightening. But, she is so bull-headed and stubborn, if I even bring up my fear of her driving she'll just stop telling us the truth of her situation.

She'll be 87 years old in June but just refuses to slow down. I took her to see the Young at Heart choir last Thursday and she thoroughly enjoyed it. I was a bit unsure since the choir, being octogenarians and all, aren't the best vocalists and they would be singing songs unfamiliar to her. But the show was unbelievably good and even my Bubbie knew most of the songs. They opened with the Rolling Stones classic You Can't Always Get What You Want and continued with songs by artists like Nirvana, Queen and Sonic Youth. Just fabulous and do I even have to say it brought me to tears?

Things with the house purchase have been a constant struggle. Our Realtor put it perfect. "You picked a great time to buy a house and a horrible time to get a loan." We originally wanted to put down 5%, (which in the Los Angeles market is A LOT,) but clearly, we're not the only ones who can only afford 5% down. And since the virtual collapse of the mortgage industry, who were busy writing (and forging,) loans to people who couldn't afford them, it has left only a few banks who will allow just 5% down to be buried in paperwork with those like us trying to get their loans. Loans that were underwritten last year in 3 days are now taking up to 4 weeks.

Long story short, when faced with possibly losing the house we decided to up the anti and put 10% down. Not only as a show of good faith to the banks and to get the process moving faster, but also to have more equity in the house and a lower monthly payment. This Friday will be 30 days since our accepted offer so we have to have something in place by then. God willing it will all be done by tomorrow and I can go back to fixating on packing and couch fabric.

This weekend I'm helping throw a baby shower for my friend Susan. My oldest friend Shari is due any minute now and another friend Lisa is due in a month. It is definitely the year of the baby. In keeping with my goals for this year, (new car, new house, get pregnant,) that's the last thing to check off my list. I'm petrified of getting pregnant and petrified of not being able to. I'm literally a ball of stress. Not exactly conducive to getting pregnant. So, I'm starting to track my ovulation and that way I think I'll feel a little more in control. The Hubbie has finally quit smoking for good and that was a big factor for me. So for now, I'm just taking it day by day and once we get settled in the house I think we'll start trying.

R.I.P Mr. Feesh.

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Nope, still here

Haven't fallen off the face of the earth, just been busy doing all those things I wished for in my last post. I actually did buy a car, and punch yer' Granny, ACTUALLY BOUGHT A HOUSE! For real this time, no backing out 10 days into escrow. No siree, the Hubbie and I truly bought a house and are set to move in 31 days. And when I say set to move I really mean get the keys, because before we actually move we want to do things like paint, redo closets, clean the carpets, order a couch and put in a new kitchen. I imagine we'll have have to forgo the last thing for the time being but I have high hopes the rest will get done.

All this excitement has been overshadowed by the fact that I've been knocking on death's door the last week with the worst flu to hit me since college. I had three days of fever followed by a hacking gasping cough and fluid filled lungs. Not sure if there's a correlation but the Hubbie has even agreed to quit smoking this weekend. I couldn't be happier. (Well, I could if I wasn't gasping for air.)

I knew this would be a big year and so far it hasn't disappointed. I'm also getting in lots of shows while I'm still a Hollywood resident. Saw Marilyn Manson last month, going to X in two weeks and Beirut at the end of May. I suppose I'll be an 818er by then.... wow..... weird. I made my first sacrifice as a homeowner yesterday, actually passing up an opportunity to buy Duran Duran tickets because they were ONE HUNDRED FREAKING DOLLARS A PIECE. My new budget just doesn't allow me the luxury of seeing my all time favorite band, especially if they're going to rape their fans like that. Grrrrrr.

Anyway, I can't wait to post pics of our weekend projects. Woohoo!

Friday, January 18, 2008


Androgyny gets me hot. I can't think of anything sexier than a little gender blurring. First crush was Simon LeBon, (with Nick Rhodes a close second,) from Duran Duran. Here's me at eight years old... men in lipstick = yummy! Later came my Boy George obsession, (no need to elaborate there,) but I didn't know he was gay. I thought he was just cool! Not really sure I even knew what gay was at that point. When my parents had Peter and Gene over for dinner, I thought they were just good friends. HA!
In high school I went through my glam rock phase and no one did androgyny better than Sebastian Bach. I mean come on! He looked like a supermodel with that long blond hair and waifish figure, not to mention he sang like a chick. Then came the day when Kurt Cobain put on a dress and I nearly fainted. From LA Times interview with Kurt in 1993-

"Wearing a dress shows I can be as feminine as I want," he says, in a jab at the macho undercurrents that he detests in rock. "I'm a heterosexual . . . big deal. But if I was a homosexual, it wouldn't matter either."

Hot. And let's not forget the eyeliner.

In college I discovered just how great David Bowie is, beyond his radio hits. When I think about what it must have been like to see Ziggy Stardust live, it makes me shudder. Not only was he a pioneer in glam, along with Marc Bolan and Alice Cooper, he has those 2 different colored eyes which make him the perfect weirdo package.

This brings us to the nineties where I fell in love with Twiggy and Marilyn Manson. The mix of the grotesque and cross dressing was the perfect sexual and musical outlet I was looking for. They were shocking, they were homoerotic, they were the filthier version of Jagger and Richards, and they were beautiful to me. I knew what they were doing wasn't exactly original but it didn't matter, I had found my bad boy crush. It's rumored that Twiggy built his look based on Courtney Love's "kinderwhore" look of barrettes and little girl dresses juxtaposed with torn fishnets and smeared red lipstick. Looking at the photo below, it's hard to argue that wasn't the case. Of course it goes without saying I love Hole as well.

The pattern here seems simple right? Men who dress like women are my weakness. That's what I thought too until I saw my first episode of The L Word. I realize I'm probably the last person on earth to see this show as it's entering it's fifth season but, truthfully, I was not in the least bit interested in a soapy lesbo drama. A soapy gay male drama is more my speed. Say, one starring Gale Harold called Queer As Folk, also known as the sexiest show ever to air on television! But I digress.

I watched one episode of the L word and now I'm going to have to go out and rent the first four seasons because of this woman. I mean, seriously, she is so breathtaking it's hard to focus on what the characters are saying. I decided to do a little research on her and found this quote from an article on her in the NY Times.
"In ripped stovepipe jeans and velvet Gucci jacket, which both cling to her angular frame like a second skin, Ms. Moennig, who possesses the bone structure and metabolism of a gazelle, an angelic sulk and a smoker's cough (her latest role demands a few antsy puffs), does not so much bend as transcend gender."

I couldn't have said it better myself. She actually does transcend gender. Or, she's the perfect mix of both? Not sure yet but I officially have a new crush.

Thursday, January 17, 2008

New Year, New News

I hit a blooging slump but am forcing myself to update. I started this blog so to keep a diary and remember my adventures with some detail, but I'll be darned if I can't think of where to start. Let's see- work drama. Ok. My boss quit and our payroll company went belly up. I've heard more sob stories in the last week than I have in four years working here. Today a guy called saying he was $1,000 overdrawn and couldn't afford to buy groceries FOR HIS KID. I'm worried about not getting my w2 in the mail, or worse, getting it and finding out they actually didn't pay my taxes. Word on the street is the IRS is their biggest creditor.

We spent five days back east with the family for Christmas and celebrated my father in law's 60th birthday. The whole extended family was there and we spent three nights together just visiting and eating. As an only child I can't tell you how great it is to sit at a table with fifteen relatives all talking and laughing. Everyone gets along so well, and there's no arguing like there is at most of our family functions. In fact, this year I had to tell my mom there would be no discussion of politics whatsoever at the Thanksgiving table. I was not joking, it would actually ruin the holiday. Speaking of which, my mom joined the Republican Womens Club (or whatever they call it,) which is what prompted me to lay down the law. I'm not sure where she took a turn but this is a woman who burned her bra and was a single parent! Now she's going to hear Mitt Romney speak. *sigh* Here's where I fall according to an online quiz.

78% John Edwards
76% Barack Obama
73% Hillary Clinton
70% Bill Richardson
69% Chris Dodd
66% Joe Biden
60% Mike Gravel
56% Dennis Kucinich
46% Tom Tancredo
42% Rudy Giuliani
39% Mitt Romney
30% John McCain
30% Fred Thompson
27% Mike Huckabee
17% Ron Paul

2008 Presidential Candidate Matching Quiz

Funny, I thought I was more of a Joe Biden kinda gal.

This has been a great month for food so far. We spent New Years at Morton's Steakhouse with Clint, Callie and Clint's brother from Texas. To say we indulged is an understatement. We were actually there for the stroke of midnight, and rang in the new year stuffed with meat, potatoes and way too much wine. We were home in bed (with heartburn) by 1. Not the most outrageous night but a blast nonetheless. Callie's birthday came last week so we splurged on a trip to Osteria Mozza, a Mario Batali restaurant. We went with the pasta tasting menu with complimenting wines. My two favorite dishes were vegetarian if you can believe it, and one of them had mushrooms in it! That is testament to Mario's recipes; if he can get me to enjoy mushrooms, we should send him to the middle east!

The hubbie and I have been bringing up the word baby more and more often. I'm officially off the pill and trying to gear up my body by taking prenatal vitamins, but we have some issues to work out as well. It's obviously a huge decision and one that shouldn't be rushed, but at the same time I'm so afraid of not being able to conceive, or having problems. I'm so ready for a change I think I'm at the point where I'll take anything. I'm in the same exact place I was last year. Nothing at all is different. Same stupid apartment, same crappy car, same job (albeit without the she-devil,) same problems, same, same, same. The trip to Argentina was a great diversion and unforgettable experience, but I'm sick of feeling like my life is a broken record. I didn't even make any new years resolutions this year; how pathetic is that? And really, it's because I just don't give a damn.

Change. Something, anything. I really want a new car. Or a new used car. Can that be a new years resolution????

Geez, this post turned into Bababadnews. Hopefully the next one will be back to my funny sarcastic self.

Saturday, December 08, 2007


SERIOUSLY, GO SEE THIS MOVIE. I never go to movies on a Saturday night. ESPECIALLY during the holidays. This was worth every single penny, parking nightmare and crowd.