How the F I post my pic on my profile but not on the main blog page???? I'm stumped.
I just called to reserve an airport shuttle for our annual migration east. I understand that my husband and I aren't the ONLY ones traveling 2 days before Christmas but can someone give me a F'ing break? Our flight is tomorrow night at 9:30 pm. The shuttle wants to pick us up at 5:30 pm. It only seats 7! Who else are we picking up? And from where? Sylmar??
I asked the reservation agent if it just might be easier for them to pick us up tonight- you know, to be sure! Jeez. My blood pressure is already rising. I'm also stressed out that my driver's license says my married name and my e-ticket says my maiden. I'm bringing a copy of my marriage certificate but, (and not to stereotype here,) but in MY HUMBLE OPINION, the TSA folks I've encountered have shown less brain power than my chair. A simple thing like a name change might just get me pulled aside and strip searched, who knows?
At least we can travel with liquids again. Well, at least ones that are less than 3 ounces and packaged separately in a zip lock quart sized baggy that can be x-rayed. Ahhh, the joys of flying with lip gloss again. Now I won't look like Nosferatu when I arrive D.C and see my inlaws. YIPPEE.
Hope ya'll have a great non-denominational winter-type holiday that may or may not fall in the month of December. =)
Thursday, December 21, 2006
Wednesday, December 20, 2006
Taken directly from PETA's website
I'm sorry for such a downer post so close to the holidays but I couldn't help but re-post this. Please take some time to read and clink on the few links. I rarely check PETA's site because I cry every time, but once in a while we have to force ourselves to see what's actually happening right under our noses. Possibly in lieu of a gift this season you could make a donation to one of the animal friendly organizations.
At Covance, animal technicians called the head veterinarian "Mr. Let's Wait and See." The primate staff—even those who were, themselves, often cruel to the monkeys—complained repeatedly about a young monkey with a broken arm being left untreated in his cage for four days. Apparently, "Mr. Let's Wait and See," the head vet at Covance, didn't know what to do about the bone break, and so he waited for a junior veterinarian to return from her time off. The junior vet immediately ordered the animal euthanized as the break was too severe to repair. She discovered and disclosed that the head veterinarian had given the baby monkey a drug that had little more effect than that of an aspirin for his unimaginable pain.
PETA has a very active anti-vivisection campaign and works tirelessly to stop animal testing. Thanks to the support of caring individuals like you, we are making real headway in our fight against vivisection. You can help:
Inside Covance U.S.
Introduction
PETA's investigator was hired by Covance as a technician and worked inside the company's primate testing lab in Vienna, Virginia, from April 26, 2004, to March 11, 2005. The investigator's video documentation inside the lab started on July 30, 2004, and what she documented-the terror, sadness, sickness, injuries, suffering, and deaths of monkeys from the wild and Covance's own breeding facilities—will leave even the staunchest supporter of animal testing ashamed and all good people clamoring for justice. It will also make it perfectly clear that government oversight of labs such as Covance is a farce.At Covance, animal technicians called the head veterinarian "Mr. Let's Wait and See." The primate staff—even those who were, themselves, often cruel to the monkeys—complained repeatedly about a young monkey with a broken arm being left untreated in his cage for four days. Apparently, "Mr. Let's Wait and See," the head vet at Covance, didn't know what to do about the bone break, and so he waited for a junior veterinarian to return from her time off. The junior vet immediately ordered the animal euthanized as the break was too severe to repair. She discovered and disclosed that the head veterinarian had given the baby monkey a drug that had little more effect than that of an aspirin for his unimaginable pain.
Other Documented Horrors for Animals at Covance
- Striking and choking "uncooperative" monkeys
- Screaming curses at frightened, sick monkeys
- Slamming monkeys into their cages after they've had dosing tubes rammed down their throats
- Hosing down cages with monkeys still inside, soaking the animals
- A loose monkey terrorized by a technician who slams cages into walls to scare the animal out of hiding
- Monkeys with chronic rectal prolapses-painful protrusions of the intestines through the rectum-resulting from constant stress and diarrhea
- Monkeys who died horribly in tests for a drug company-the veterinarian was forbidden to examine them or provide any treatment, including euthanasia
- Small monkeys dosed with large tubes forced up their nostrils and down into their stomachs, causing choking, gagging, and daily bloody noses
- Monkey self-mutilation resulting from Covance's failure to provide psychological enrichment and socialization
- Injuries left untreated until they became necrotic
- Nonstop blaring rock music
PETA has a very active anti-vivisection campaign and works tirelessly to stop animal testing. Thanks to the support of caring individuals like you, we are making real headway in our fight against vivisection. You can help:
- Purchase only cruelty-free products and donate only to health charities that never fund animal experiments.
- Boycott Iams and other pet food companies that conduct cruel nutritional tests on dogs and cats and support forward-thinking companies that conduct humane home testing or laboratory analysis of foods. Learn what you can do to help animals in Iams laboratories.
- that use animals for "education" and ask them to eliminate live-animal labs from their curricula.
- Help stop the animal abuse at Columbia University, where baboons are subjected to invasive surgeries and left to suffer and die in cages without any painkillers.
- Find out what you can do to stop the cruel spinal experiments performed on cats and rats at Palmer Chiropractic University. If you are an employee of Palmer Chiropractic University and have witnessed extreme cruelty to animals there, please report what you saw.
- Become a behind-the-scenes hero for animals! PETA is always looking for undercover investigators.
- If you have witnessed cruelty in any other laboratory, please report what you saw.
- Refuse to contribute to charities such as Environmental Defense, the World Wildlife Fund, and the Natural Resources Defense Council, which, surprisingly, help fund the cruel animal experiments performed by the Environmental Protection Agency. Read our complete list of "mean greenies."
- Write your representatives in Congress to demand that humane alternatives to animal experiments be used. Refer to PETA's helpful guide to writing effective letters.
- Read PETA's factsheet on alternatives to animal testing and learn how you can help animals who are used for experimentation.
- Visit AnimalActivist.com for even more ways to get active for animals.
Contact medical schools
Wednesday, December 13, 2006
Not your average Bowie
When I was a kid I had this Peter and the Wolf record and accompanying picture book. I used to play that record over and over again, turning the pages and looking at the pictures every time as if it were my first. When I'd hear the French horns play the Wolf's theme song, chills would run down my spine. I can still see the picture on the outside cover of the album, where saliva is literally dripping off the Wolf's teeth as he creeps up on the little unaware boy. SCARY!
I have a vivid memory of lying in bed with only my nightlight on and one of the sliding doors to my closet was cracked open. On the floor of the closet, propped up and leaning on my shoe rack was my Peter and the Wolf Album. The dim light from my nightlight just barely lit up the saliva covered TEETH, which was all I could see in the dark abyss of my closet. I pulled my frilly eyelet blanket up close to my mouth and thought very hard about what my options were.
I could stay in bed and simply spend the night staring at the teeth, making sure they didn't make any funny moves. I could yell out for my parents to come take the teeth away, but being all of 7 years old at the time, I wouldn't want them to think I was a baby. The third option seemed the most plausible, yet the most terrifying. I would leap out of bed, and hopefully only have my feet touch ground once in order to reach the closet, slam the door shut, and leap back on to my bed. Thereby lessening the risk that another set of unseen teeth, (that may be hiding under my bed in cahoots with the ones in the closet,) could jump out and have time to nip at my ankles. And that's what I did. And so help me, I'm not sure my feet actually touched the ground at all.
I can almost feel my increased heartbeat, cold sweat and slimy palms, just the way they were that terrifying night as I sit here listening to David Bowie and the Philadelphia Orchestra doing Peter and the Wolf. Amazing the things you retain from such a young age.
I'm convinced I truly feel classical music because I was introduced to it at such a young impressionable age. We'd spend Fourth of Julys at the Hollywood Bowl with picnics and blankets on our laps. We'd wave our little American flags and I'd cry at the end of the 1812 Overture. I still do! Sometimes you'll find me blasting Bolero on my ipod instead of the usual Dandy Warhols. And as I'm listening now, I love Peter and the Wolf as much as I did as a kid, playing it on my Fisher Price record player.
Last I saw of that record (a long long time ago,) it was packed up in the den of my parents house. Must make it a point to get it back, even just to see if those teeth are as big as I remember. =)
Wednesday, December 06, 2006
Tis' the season to be totally wiped out
I have no idea how I let this much time pass w/out blogging. (Man I HATE that word. Maybe because it sounds so much like a hybrid of Barfing and Gagging? Maybe because all this self-indulgence does induce a gag or two once in a while?)
I know all 2 of you have been checking this site daily wondering if I've got "consumption" or some other sickness that would render me incapable of sitting up and typing. But nope. Just busy.
I have so much on my mind lately that to put it all down, (in a cohesive blogging fashion,) would require more brainpower than I can commit to right now. SO, I'll sum it up like this.
Thanksgiving was a success. Well, until around 11pm when we had to pull over on the way home to let one of the girls puke. A little too much HOLIDAY CHEER I suppose.
Speaking of holidays, dontchya just love this time of year? I put up all our Christmas decorations last night and Hubbie and I sat for an hour, listening to "Holiday Hits" basking in the glow of the twinkle lights. I just love sh*t like that! This weekend I'm hoping to convince him to take me to Pershing Square for a little outdoor ice skating. I mean, it just doesn't GET more Norman Rockwell than that! (Of course it'll be 80 degrees out...not exactly baby it's cold outside weather.)
I'm currently in the midst of family drama that I just don't want to get into right now. What I will say is that I need to make a commitment to myself to get these HUGE resentments off my chest and into the ears of the person who least wants to hear it. It will be a challenge. I'm considering writing a letter, (which was her way of dealing with it so I guess that's the level of communication she's comfortable with right now.) It's just odd to not be talking to the person whom I talk to the most. Bah.
More to write but must get going now.
Friday, November 17, 2006
Some Friday fun for you and me!
Soundtrack shuffle
IF YOUR LIFE WAS A MOVIE, WHAT WOULD THE SOUNDTRACK BE?
So, here’s how it works:
1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For every question, type the song that’s playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button
6. Don’t lie and try to pretend you’re cool…
Opening Credits: Sunday Morning Coming Down- Kris Kristofferson
Okkkkk- that's kinda weird.
Well I woke up Sunday morning,
With no way to hold my head that didn't hurt.
And the beer I had for breakfast wasn't bad,
So I had one more for dessert.
Waking Up: Annie's Song- John Denver
Gag. What the hell is wrong with my shuffle? LOL
First Day At School: Big Indian- The Dandy Warhols
PERFECT!
well my friends do me so right,
I'm lucky this far,
maybe it's karma,
I get over them, but,
only at times.
well the future is frightening,
and I seem to be fighting it,
but soon as it's brightening,
well the future is brightening.
Falling In Love: Ghost Highway- Mazzy Star
Fight Song: I've Been Everywhere- Johnny Cash
Umm, this makes no sense whatsoever. Good song though.
Breaking Up: Stand- R.E.M.
Ok this isn't really turning out how I thought.
Prom: Live For Today- The Grass Roots.
Hmmm, yeah, that's cool I guess. IF I WENT TO PROM IN 1967!!!
Life: Nightrain- Guns n' Roses.
HAHAHHAH. Wow. There's just so much I could say about this.
Loaded like a freight train
Flyin' like an aeroplane
Feelin' like a space brain
One more time tonight
Mental Breakdown: Hey You- Pink Floyd
Perfect for that "mental breakdown" scene ON ACID!!!
Driving: New Life- Depeche Mode
(Would have preferred Never Let Me Down Again, which was written about Dave's car.)
Flashback: Xanadu- Rush
Why the hell is this survey making me look like such a hesher???
(Definition, found at www.urbandictionary.com: “Long-haired, usually mulleted person who listens and rocks out to metal or thrash music. Generally seen wearing acid-washed jeans, leather motorcycle or denim jacket covered with band and skull patches. Will often have a molester mustache.”)
Getting Back Together: Sowing The Seeds Of Love- Tears For Fears
Wedding: Draining The Pool For You- The Go-Betweens
Birth of Child: Crimson and Clover- Joan Jett
Final Battle: Lady Stardust- David Bowie
Death Scene: Elizabeth My Dear- The Stone Roses
Eeek. This actually gave me chills. Very cool.
Funeral Song: Return To Me- Chris Isaak
Now this is getting CREEPY
End Credits: Way Down Now- World Party
BRAVO!!! Love it!
Tuesday, November 07, 2006
Today is the greatest
I thought I was done with my posting today but as soon as my itunes randomly played the well known Smashing Pumpkins hit "Today" I had an instant flashback to my college days.
(Mom, you might want to stop reading here....)
My friend Loo (nickname of course) was OBSESSED with the Smashing Pumpkins. Almost as obsessed as she was with speed or any speedy-like substance. She'd snort crystal for days while sitting at her kitchen table coloring one of these.
She had them taped up all over her apartment. It was a riot.
Anyway one night we were going to see the Smashing Pumpkins play at our college gymnasium. The campus was only a mile from her house so we decided to "pre-party" at her place and walk to the show. She didn't have any of her usual drug of choice that night so instead she was just drinking with the rest of us. After a few cocktails she decided rather than go without completely, we should pop some "minithins" (a.k.a ephedrine,) to give us a boost. I was not one to Just Say No at the time so I popped a few with her and anxiously awaited the buzz.
When we saw what time it was we realized that if we walked we'd never make it to the gym in time to see them start. So in a "minithin" frenzy we hopped on our bikes that were parked outside knowing we'd get there in just a jiffy rather than risk the long walk.
Boy were we right. By the time we reached the bike racks at the gym I was frantically looking around for my heart, which must have arrived a good five minutes before me. The two of us locked our bikes up, walked inside, and chain smoked throughout the entire set while I wondered if it was just guitar feedback vibrating in my chest, or my actual organs trying to kick their way out.
Yuck. I was a sweaty jumpy mess but I'll never forget the look on my friend's face when they'd play one of her favorite songs. And I will never be able to listen to that band without picturing some sort of velvet color-me-mine unicorn poster.
(Mom, you might want to stop reading here....)
My friend Loo (nickname of course) was OBSESSED with the Smashing Pumpkins. Almost as obsessed as she was with speed or any speedy-like substance. She'd snort crystal for days while sitting at her kitchen table coloring one of these.
She had them taped up all over her apartment. It was a riot.
Anyway one night we were going to see the Smashing Pumpkins play at our college gymnasium. The campus was only a mile from her house so we decided to "pre-party" at her place and walk to the show. She didn't have any of her usual drug of choice that night so instead she was just drinking with the rest of us. After a few cocktails she decided rather than go without completely, we should pop some "minithins" (a.k.a ephedrine,) to give us a boost. I was not one to Just Say No at the time so I popped a few with her and anxiously awaited the buzz.
When we saw what time it was we realized that if we walked we'd never make it to the gym in time to see them start. So in a "minithin" frenzy we hopped on our bikes that were parked outside knowing we'd get there in just a jiffy rather than risk the long walk.
Boy were we right. By the time we reached the bike racks at the gym I was frantically looking around for my heart, which must have arrived a good five minutes before me. The two of us locked our bikes up, walked inside, and chain smoked throughout the entire set while I wondered if it was just guitar feedback vibrating in my chest, or my actual organs trying to kick their way out.
Yuck. I was a sweaty jumpy mess but I'll never forget the look on my friend's face when they'd play one of her favorite songs. And I will never be able to listen to that band without picturing some sort of velvet color-me-mine unicorn poster.
Gayface
I'm really sorry but I am just taking so much pleasure in this guy's misfortune. It's not the sexual acts he performed, nor the crystal meth he snorted, but the outright intolerance of homosexual behavior leading up to these revelations (HA!...Pun intended...hee hee,) that make this guy so unbelievably repulsive. He brings the word self-loathing to a whole new level. As in OFF THE CHARTS!
To be honest, I'm really not a fan of "outing" people. I wouldn't want someone running around announcing to the media what I like to do in bed. (Eat, watch QVC, drink all my husband's water, sleep-talk, tickle my own arm to sleep... you know, the usual.) HOWEVER, in this case, when someone is so vocal and INFLUENTIAL with their hatred of a certain group, and come to find out he's one of them, well, sorry. Karma's a bitch ain't it?
Moving on. I'm starting to feel better after my little birthday stint in the hospital. Last weekend I caught up on some chores and laundry and had a belated birthday dinner with my Bubbie. This week my friend and I are finalizing the Thanksgiving menu and guest list and I think I'll do a trial run of the soup I plan to make. Also, this Friday is one of my best friend's birthdays and she's turning my lucky number- which I won't disclose because she might punch me in the nose for telling her real age.
Anyway, HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABE. You know how much I love you and hope this year brings everything you wish for. This is for you!
Tuesday, October 31, 2006
Happy Halloween!
Now are these not 2 of the hottest pics ever??? There is just something about androgynous men that's beautiful. Call me crazy. I showed my friend these before posting and she said, "man you're weird. But I dig that about you."
I'm sitting at work listening to Bauhaus and Crass having a jolly ole' time. However, the weather outside isn't exactly conducive to a spooky halloween day. I think it's 80. Ugh. I hate this about L.A.
Marilyn Manson's art gallery opens today on Melrose. I'd love to go but I'm sure you need an invite for the opening. I'll try and hit it this weekend. His paintings are truly beautiful and I encourage anyone who isn't familiar with them to take a look.
My birthday last week was a bust to say the least. After suffering all day with abdominal cramps, Hubbie rushed me to the hospital at 11pm. 3 shots of morphine and a CT scan later I'm given 2 rounds of antibiotics and told to schedule a colonoscopy.
Shitty. (Pun intended.)
Last night I started reading The Dirt: Confessions of the World's Most Notorious Rock Band. It was one of my birthday gifts and after 4 chapters, I can tell I'm going to love this book.
Unfortunately I have to go back to work now. I just had to steal a minute to update or Veronika would keep bugging me! =)
Have a spooky Halloween!
Thursday, October 19, 2006
I'm surrounded by idiots
Work is officially pushing me over the edge. I've been so busy that I haven't had a second to post. (I haven't posted in the evenings at home because I can't type with one hand, and I simply refuse to put down my wine glass until bedtime.)
I'm so fried right now that I'm struggling to find something to say that doesn't take a couple expletives to describe. Say for instance this morning when I suggested 11:00am PST as a good time for a conference call with our New York office, only to have the ACCOUNTING clerk on the other end of the phone say,"11:00 am PST....so what time that would be in New York???"
Last weekend a friend came over and between her, my husband and I we drank 4 bottles of wine. That pretty much left me useless the rest of the weekend save for a manicure that was desperately needed. So this weekend I plan to actually see the light of day. (Well sorta.) The girls and I are going to see Marie Antoinette at our fancy Hollywood theater, followed by what else? French Martinis!
(No, not cake- haven't you been paying attention?)
My birthday is next Wednesday. I'm having mixed feelings. My mother and I share the same birthday, and she's always hated to acknowledge her age, so every year it was just about me me me! Which is great! Until you hit your late 20s-30s. Now it just seems silly to get excited about a birthday. Or to assume it's any more special than any other day. I mean, who celebrates 32?
When I was a kid, 32 sounded ANCIENT. I couldn't even wrap my head around it- couldn't imagine myself that age at all. I've always had this fear of getting older- even when I was young. I turned 18 and was content to stay there forever.
I know, scary right?
On my nineteenth birthday my mom got me a "Quick n' Easy Chicken" recipe book. Seems like a good choice for a daughter who was just out of the dorms and in her first apartment with a kitchen, right?
I cried. Sobbed uncontrollably. I remember my roommate at the time hugging me and trying to console me by saying "it's just a cookbook!" But I knew it wasn't. It was the beginning of adulthood. The beginning of self-reliance. The beginning of taking responsibility for myself. The beginning of many many more years of (GASP) having to face the consequences of my actions.
I know what you're thinking. I should be washing down some crazy pills with my wine at night. Maybe? Maybe it WAS just a cookbook. Hell, now I collect em'! I guess my point is every year that passes I'm reminded of where I am, where I thought I'd be, where I should be, how much of my life has already passed, what does the future hold? And it scares the crap out of me.
I guess the good news is that I'm not alone. I have an amazing husband, wonderful friends and the most supportive family anyone could ask for. And that is the best birthday present of all.
I'm so fried right now that I'm struggling to find something to say that doesn't take a couple expletives to describe. Say for instance this morning when I suggested 11:00am PST as a good time for a conference call with our New York office, only to have the ACCOUNTING clerk on the other end of the phone say,"11:00 am PST....so what time that would be in New York???"
Last weekend a friend came over and between her, my husband and I we drank 4 bottles of wine. That pretty much left me useless the rest of the weekend save for a manicure that was desperately needed. So this weekend I plan to actually see the light of day. (Well sorta.) The girls and I are going to see Marie Antoinette at our fancy Hollywood theater, followed by what else? French Martinis!
(No, not cake- haven't you been paying attention?)
My birthday is next Wednesday. I'm having mixed feelings. My mother and I share the same birthday, and she's always hated to acknowledge her age, so every year it was just about me me me! Which is great! Until you hit your late 20s-30s. Now it just seems silly to get excited about a birthday. Or to assume it's any more special than any other day. I mean, who celebrates 32?
When I was a kid, 32 sounded ANCIENT. I couldn't even wrap my head around it- couldn't imagine myself that age at all. I've always had this fear of getting older- even when I was young. I turned 18 and was content to stay there forever.
I know, scary right?
On my nineteenth birthday my mom got me a "Quick n' Easy Chicken" recipe book. Seems like a good choice for a daughter who was just out of the dorms and in her first apartment with a kitchen, right?
I cried. Sobbed uncontrollably. I remember my roommate at the time hugging me and trying to console me by saying "it's just a cookbook!" But I knew it wasn't. It was the beginning of adulthood. The beginning of self-reliance. The beginning of taking responsibility for myself. The beginning of many many more years of (GASP) having to face the consequences of my actions.
I know what you're thinking. I should be washing down some crazy pills with my wine at night. Maybe? Maybe it WAS just a cookbook. Hell, now I collect em'! I guess my point is every year that passes I'm reminded of where I am, where I thought I'd be, where I should be, how much of my life has already passed, what does the future hold? And it scares the crap out of me.
I guess the good news is that I'm not alone. I have an amazing husband, wonderful friends and the most supportive family anyone could ask for. And that is the best birthday present of all.
Friday, September 29, 2006
Vegas baby, Vegas
I know I know, what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas but I had to get a little confession off my chest. It’s been keeping me up at night and I figure what better way to come clean than to confess to the whole cyber world. (Or all three of my readers. Same difference.)
Thursday night the girls took the bride out for a lovely sushi dinner where I had my very first (and second) Long Island Ice Tea. Yum! We then headed over to Shadow Bar for some bottle service and extreme booty shaking. By this point the bride was tossed and I was well on my way. We hit yet another bar before the girls decided (at 4am) that they’d had enough and it was time to get some shut-eye.
We should have done the same.
The bride and I thought it would be much more fun to pop a bottle of champagne and take a bubble bath. Together.
Before you could say EVERY AMERICAN JOCK’S WET DREAM, (hi Mom!!!) were naked in the tub with the jets on, pouring a mini bottle of shampoo under the running water.
Side note: Can you believe in a hotel that costs $350 a night they don’t provide bubble bath??? Why have a Jacuzzi tub and no bubble bath! Who uses the shoe polish??? I mean, come on now!
Ok, back to the story.
We finished a bottle of Veuve Clicquot while blabbering and professing our love for one another. Not in a perverted way, but in a I’ve had 10 drinks and there’s no one I’d rather be with than you right here in this tub and I’m so happy we met and are friends and our husbands are friends and HICCUP I think you’re so pretty and we should go to Europe together!!!!!
Then we opened another bottle of champagne and that’s when things took a turn.
Cut to 7:30 am where the bride and I are on the bathroom floor, blasting Nirvana and doing the unspeakable. Yes mom, it’s true. I have truly let you down and disregarded the one rule you begged me never to break. I lasted almost thirty-one years, and I blame it on the two Long Hangover Iced Teas. Our necks weren’t sore from dancing at the club as I had led you to believe. I’m sorry I lied.
The truth is, on that bathroom floor, in the still of the night (morning) we were in fact, playing air-guitar. Well, technically I was on air-guitar and the bride was on air-drums. And you know what? It was A LOT of fun. It felt so good to be so bad.
Let the self-flagellation commence.
Tuesday, September 19, 2006
Excuse me, I believe you have my stapler...
Great news! Hubbie was promoted Friday! And with the promotion comes a move into HIS OWN OFFICE! No more cubicle sharing with the peons in rentals- he's got his OWN OFFICE! Which probably comes with his own one of these!
HEE HEE!
I'm so proud of him. In a year and a half he's received 2 raises and 2 promotions. Quite an achievement.
In other news, our one year anniversary is this weekend. While last year at this time I pictured us eating the top tier of our wedding cake in bed, (carrot cake- my favorite,) while watcing me almost faint on our wedding video- the day is turning out to be the polar opposite. Our two best friends are getting married this weekend in fabulous LAAAAS VEGAAAAAAAAAS. And while we couldn't be happier for our friends, because of the timing, it looks like we will spend our first year anniversary of marital bliss hungover in the airport and subsequently on a plane. I'm pretty sure they stock the planes back from vegas with barf bags but I sincerely hope I don't have to use one.
Considering it took me two days to recover from the bachelorette party, I'm going to have to watch it. Speaking of the bachelorette party- the following are just a couple photos from that fantastic evening.
HEE HEE!
I'm so proud of him. In a year and a half he's received 2 raises and 2 promotions. Quite an achievement.
In other news, our one year anniversary is this weekend. While last year at this time I pictured us eating the top tier of our wedding cake in bed, (carrot cake- my favorite,) while watcing me almost faint on our wedding video- the day is turning out to be the polar opposite. Our two best friends are getting married this weekend in fabulous LAAAAS VEGAAAAAAAAAS. And while we couldn't be happier for our friends, because of the timing, it looks like we will spend our first year anniversary of marital bliss hungover in the airport and subsequently on a plane. I'm pretty sure they stock the planes back from vegas with barf bags but I sincerely hope I don't have to use one.
Considering it took me two days to recover from the bachelorette party, I'm going to have to watch it. Speaking of the bachelorette party- the following are just a couple photos from that fantastic evening.
Wednesday, September 13, 2006
Fat bird
The middle finger on my right hand, (my bird giving finger,) is swollen and red. It's throbbing and I can't move it at all.
Is the universe trying to tell me something?
Does this mean I have to have a hiatus from giving people my jive turkey? Bummer.
If I was going to get all introspective and stuff I might think I need to relax a little, not take things so seriously. Not stress out as much. Not drive to work with "Immigrant Song" blasting. (just kidding.)
I've had so many frustrating interactions lately it's hard to imagine me being the type of person to just "go with the flow- like a twig on the shoulders of a heavy breeze..." (And if anyone can quote what movie that's from you can be my new best friend. Not that you'd want to be after this post.) But seriously, I don't see how people don't just scream when they have to deal with stupid people?
I want to know the secret. Someone let me in on it. And don't say yoga. I want to know how to stay calm in the face of aggressive stupidity without xanax.
Is the universe trying to tell me something?
Does this mean I have to have a hiatus from giving people my jive turkey? Bummer.
If I was going to get all introspective and stuff I might think I need to relax a little, not take things so seriously. Not stress out as much. Not drive to work with "Immigrant Song" blasting. (just kidding.)
I've had so many frustrating interactions lately it's hard to imagine me being the type of person to just "go with the flow- like a twig on the shoulders of a heavy breeze..." (And if anyone can quote what movie that's from you can be my new best friend. Not that you'd want to be after this post.) But seriously, I don't see how people don't just scream when they have to deal with stupid people?
I want to know the secret. Someone let me in on it. And don't say yoga. I want to know how to stay calm in the face of aggressive stupidity without xanax.
Friday, September 08, 2006
I know I know...
I can't believe how long it's been since I posted. I had grandiose dreams of documenting the whole Maine trip and writing witty stories here accompanied with pictures of all the Dunkin Donuts we passed but... I've just been too damn busy.
I'm off to a friend's birthday dinner tonight and tomorrow night is the last bachelorette of this wedding-filled year. 8 girls, 1 stripper, 1 hotel suite and many bottles of booze. I hope to have at least SOMETHING to write about Monday.
And I will get the Maine post up... although it'll probably be a three-parter. In the meantime here's a picture I took in Camden. I was laying down on the grass just watching the boats. Beautiful day.
I'm off to a friend's birthday dinner tonight and tomorrow night is the last bachelorette of this wedding-filled year. 8 girls, 1 stripper, 1 hotel suite and many bottles of booze. I hope to have at least SOMETHING to write about Monday.
And I will get the Maine post up... although it'll probably be a three-parter. In the meantime here's a picture I took in Camden. I was laying down on the grass just watching the boats. Beautiful day.
Tuesday, August 15, 2006
Ahoy Matee
Last weekend was all about pre-nuptial engagements for me. A bachelorette party on Saturday and a bridal shower on Sunday. I feel like I’m on the bat mitzvah circuit again, only this time we can drink.
The bachelorette Saturday was held at a really frou-frou spa in Santa Monica. We had all made massage appointments and were supposed to “take advantage of the other spa facilities” while we waited. The other spa facilities were a steam room, a sauna, a quiet room and a Jacuzzi. I couldn’t help but notice how many women were perfectly comfortable walking around stark naked. Naked in the Jacuzzi, naked with their legs spread in the steam room, naked in the shower, naked blow-drying their hair???
When the spa guide handed me my robe and slippers I asked her where I should change. She looked at me puzzled and said, “right here of course.”
We were standing in the hallway between the bathrooms and steam room.
“Oh, ok then.” Ugh.
I found myself just kind of pacing around from room to room. The steam room was too steamy, the sauna was too hot, (go figure,) and the quiet room was…well… too quiet! So I went out to the lounge in my robe and read a Glamour magazine and waited for my massage.
It’s not that I’m a prude by any stretch of the imagination, I swear! But, I guess the whole spa thing isn’t for me. I recently found out I’m the only one of my friends who leaves their underwear on during a massage?
I JUST started allowing male masseuses again after a long hiatus. The hiatus was brought on by my very first “spa” experience in Ojai, CA. My dad’s girlfriend at the time brought me to one of those hippie, health-food-serving, eco-friendly resorts. And by resort I mean there were 4 walls and a parking lot. She had scheduled us each a massage but didn’t specify male or female when booking.
Her masseuse comes out and she’s a 20 something beautiful Asian woman with a big smile. My masseuse comes out and he’s 50 something with a wooden leg, an eye patch and a beard down to his chest. All he was missing was the Jolly Roger Flag and parrot on his shoulder.
I spent the entire massage stiff as a board, all the while staring through the head support at Long John Silver’s wooden leg humming Yo Ho Yo Ho a Pirate’s life for me.
Having said that, all my inhibitions fly out the window when it comes to back tickles. I’ll let anyone who’s willing scratch or tickle my back. Son of Sam could scratch my back and I’d ask him for 5 more minutes.
Go figure.
The bachelorette Saturday was held at a really frou-frou spa in Santa Monica. We had all made massage appointments and were supposed to “take advantage of the other spa facilities” while we waited. The other spa facilities were a steam room, a sauna, a quiet room and a Jacuzzi. I couldn’t help but notice how many women were perfectly comfortable walking around stark naked. Naked in the Jacuzzi, naked with their legs spread in the steam room, naked in the shower, naked blow-drying their hair???
When the spa guide handed me my robe and slippers I asked her where I should change. She looked at me puzzled and said, “right here of course.”
We were standing in the hallway between the bathrooms and steam room.
“Oh, ok then.” Ugh.
I found myself just kind of pacing around from room to room. The steam room was too steamy, the sauna was too hot, (go figure,) and the quiet room was…well… too quiet! So I went out to the lounge in my robe and read a Glamour magazine and waited for my massage.
It’s not that I’m a prude by any stretch of the imagination, I swear! But, I guess the whole spa thing isn’t for me. I recently found out I’m the only one of my friends who leaves their underwear on during a massage?
I JUST started allowing male masseuses again after a long hiatus. The hiatus was brought on by my very first “spa” experience in Ojai, CA. My dad’s girlfriend at the time brought me to one of those hippie, health-food-serving, eco-friendly resorts. And by resort I mean there were 4 walls and a parking lot. She had scheduled us each a massage but didn’t specify male or female when booking.
Her masseuse comes out and she’s a 20 something beautiful Asian woman with a big smile. My masseuse comes out and he’s 50 something with a wooden leg, an eye patch and a beard down to his chest. All he was missing was the Jolly Roger Flag and parrot on his shoulder.
I spent the entire massage stiff as a board, all the while staring through the head support at Long John Silver’s wooden leg humming Yo Ho Yo Ho a Pirate’s life for me.
Having said that, all my inhibitions fly out the window when it comes to back tickles. I’ll let anyone who’s willing scratch or tickle my back. Son of Sam could scratch my back and I’d ask him for 5 more minutes.
Go figure.
Friday, August 04, 2006
So tired
I went out to dinner last night with a few of the girls to celebrate a new job and mourn a breakup. I'm not sure what hit me but my eyes were closing at the end of the meal because I was so tired. I only had one margarita, (which for any of you who know me know 2 is usually my minimum,) and I barely touched my food.
I left the restaurant around 9:20 and couldn't wait to crawl in bed. About six blocks from my house I saw AT LEAST 25 of these surrounding the area.
I was pretty sure it was a shooting and a neighbor friend of mine confirmed later it was indeed a narcotic related homicide. When I got home Hubby was still out having drinks with the guys. So I got in bed and thought I'd be able to fall asleep in minutes. The police tape didn't even phase me... or so I thought?
An hour later my heart was pounding out of my chest and I was so jumpy that even the sound of the air conditioner turning down made me gasp. I called Hubby to get his E.T.A and when I stood up I felt like I weighed 300 pounds and my head wasn't attached to my body. I felt loopy and out of it and as if I had actually had 6 margaritas instead of 1.
It really freaked me out and to be honest, as independent a woman I consider myself to be, I honestly could not wait for Hubby to come home. I'm sorry this is such a bummer post but I'm wondering if what happened last night was a legitimate anxiety attack or a sign that it is in fact time to move out of my beloved bohemian ghetto.
In other, more uplifting news I've got a jam packed August ahead of me. A bachelorette party for one of my oldest friends, a bridal shower for one of my newer friends, (who I absolutely adore and couldn't be happier for,) a week long trip to Maine with my inlaws and cousins and a trip to Big Sur for labor day weekend. Stay tuned for (what I hope will be) more interesting and wacky adventures from your now anxiety ridden formerbutsoontobecurrentvalleygirl.
Happy Friday.
I left the restaurant around 9:20 and couldn't wait to crawl in bed. About six blocks from my house I saw AT LEAST 25 of these surrounding the area.
I was pretty sure it was a shooting and a neighbor friend of mine confirmed later it was indeed a narcotic related homicide. When I got home Hubby was still out having drinks with the guys. So I got in bed and thought I'd be able to fall asleep in minutes. The police tape didn't even phase me... or so I thought?
An hour later my heart was pounding out of my chest and I was so jumpy that even the sound of the air conditioner turning down made me gasp. I called Hubby to get his E.T.A and when I stood up I felt like I weighed 300 pounds and my head wasn't attached to my body. I felt loopy and out of it and as if I had actually had 6 margaritas instead of 1.
It really freaked me out and to be honest, as independent a woman I consider myself to be, I honestly could not wait for Hubby to come home. I'm sorry this is such a bummer post but I'm wondering if what happened last night was a legitimate anxiety attack or a sign that it is in fact time to move out of my beloved bohemian ghetto.
In other, more uplifting news I've got a jam packed August ahead of me. A bachelorette party for one of my oldest friends, a bridal shower for one of my newer friends, (who I absolutely adore and couldn't be happier for,) a week long trip to Maine with my inlaws and cousins and a trip to Big Sur for labor day weekend. Stay tuned for (what I hope will be) more interesting and wacky adventures from your now anxiety ridden formerbutsoontobecurrentvalleygirl.
Happy Friday.
Wednesday, July 19, 2006
BWI
No, not the airport. Is there a rule about not blogging while intoxicated?
Just got home from dinner with Bubbie and Hubbie. We had a wonderful seafood dinner at a popular Beverly Hills restaurant. But I couldn't help but notice most of Bubbie's comments were, "THIS JUST ISN'T MY WORLD!!!" It was hard to ignore since she said it every five seconds.
My Bubbie grew up during the depression- she has stories about pushing her favorite doll in a stroller down the street to a neighbor's house, only to find out as a teenager that she was smuggling gin under the doll's blankets during prohibition.
She totaled her father’s Buick on a wild teenage night, stealing the car out of the garage without so much as a driver’s license.
She met her husband of 45 years on a booze cruise to Catalina Island because his cousin was so drunk dancing with her that he spun her across the floor, (nearly throwing her to the ground,) and she landed in my grandfather’s arms.
But at dinner, all she wanted to know was, “What is myspace.com, what is youtube.com and what on earth is this thing called google????”
She even asked what a blog was, only she pronounced it with a soft G. Like mirage….
I kept my mouth shut, as I haven’t told most friends/relatives about my blog. I explained to her that a Blog is somewhat of an online diary that any internet user can read.
She looked at me like I just took a bite of my napkin.
And again, said, “THIS JUST ISN’T MY WORLD!!”
Then the bottle of wine arrived that I ordered. A lovely Pinot Noir from Santa Maria and she asked the waiter, “Is that chilled????”
Yep, this just isn’t her world alright. She must not have seen Sideways.
Just got home from dinner with Bubbie and Hubbie. We had a wonderful seafood dinner at a popular Beverly Hills restaurant. But I couldn't help but notice most of Bubbie's comments were, "THIS JUST ISN'T MY WORLD!!!" It was hard to ignore since she said it every five seconds.
My Bubbie grew up during the depression- she has stories about pushing her favorite doll in a stroller down the street to a neighbor's house, only to find out as a teenager that she was smuggling gin under the doll's blankets during prohibition.
She totaled her father’s Buick on a wild teenage night, stealing the car out of the garage without so much as a driver’s license.
She met her husband of 45 years on a booze cruise to Catalina Island because his cousin was so drunk dancing with her that he spun her across the floor, (nearly throwing her to the ground,) and she landed in my grandfather’s arms.
But at dinner, all she wanted to know was, “What is myspace.com, what is youtube.com and what on earth is this thing called google????”
She even asked what a blog was, only she pronounced it with a soft G. Like mirage….
I kept my mouth shut, as I haven’t told most friends/relatives about my blog. I explained to her that a Blog is somewhat of an online diary that any internet user can read.
She looked at me like I just took a bite of my napkin.
And again, said, “THIS JUST ISN’T MY WORLD!!”
Then the bottle of wine arrived that I ordered. A lovely Pinot Noir from Santa Maria and she asked the waiter, “Is that chilled????”
Yep, this just isn’t her world alright. She must not have seen Sideways.
Friday, July 14, 2006
Top 10 Things That Made Me Feel Old This Week
10. Going to see Pirates of the Caribbean 2 opening weekend. (That in itself would be enough but there’s more.) Getting there an hour early to find the only remaining seats left were in the second row. I spent the whole movie squinting at the screen, checking Hubbie’s watch, trying to find a comfortable position for my back and barely holding in my mouse-sized bladder.
9. Getting up at 7:30 am last SATURDAY to run errands, which included breakfast with the girls, laundry, a trip to David’s Bridal to try on a bridesmaid dress, lunch & a cocktail, a fantastic manicure at a new spa near my house and a trip to the market.
8. Speaking of the market, splurging on a case of Vitamin Water there, (rather than the usual wine and vodka.)
7. Spending $97.00 on anti-aging skin products. Wow, it physically hurts to admit that.
6. Going out to the Troubador Wednesday night to catch a friend’s band.
AT 8:30 p.m!!!
My grandma goes to shows later than that.
5. Calling my new health insurance plan to make sure my heartburn medicine won’t cost me more than the last coverage I had.
4. Planning a picnic and movie night for all my friends. . . . at a cemetery. No, I’m not joking. Check it out here.
3. Laying in bed last night reading a book, screaming out to Hubbie when the phone rang, “WHO HAS THE NERVE TO CALL THIS LATE?????”
It was 9:00 pm.
2. UM, this may be beating a dead horse but, I WAS IN BED ON A THURSDAY NIGHT AT 9:00!
1. Looking forward to the best Friday night ever- cuddling up with Hubbie on the couch and watching a movie.
9. Getting up at 7:30 am last SATURDAY to run errands, which included breakfast with the girls, laundry, a trip to David’s Bridal to try on a bridesmaid dress, lunch & a cocktail, a fantastic manicure at a new spa near my house and a trip to the market.
8. Speaking of the market, splurging on a case of Vitamin Water there, (rather than the usual wine and vodka.)
7. Spending $97.00 on anti-aging skin products. Wow, it physically hurts to admit that.
6. Going out to the Troubador Wednesday night to catch a friend’s band.
AT 8:30 p.m!!!
My grandma goes to shows later than that.
5. Calling my new health insurance plan to make sure my heartburn medicine won’t cost me more than the last coverage I had.
4. Planning a picnic and movie night for all my friends. . . . at a cemetery. No, I’m not joking. Check it out here.
3. Laying in bed last night reading a book, screaming out to Hubbie when the phone rang, “WHO HAS THE NERVE TO CALL THIS LATE?????”
It was 9:00 pm.
2. UM, this may be beating a dead horse but, I WAS IN BED ON A THURSDAY NIGHT AT 9:00!
1. Looking forward to the best Friday night ever- cuddling up with Hubbie on the couch and watching a movie.
Monday, July 10, 2006
Friend Abroad
I'm sorry I missed your call today but this post will be in honor of you- and how much I miss you.
I miss our talks over coffee and cigs, margaritas and floatie things in the pool. I miss our talks when you'd make me get the courage to stand up for myself but still hug me when I couldn't. I love that you're my friend through endless tortuous stages of life and yet you never whine. I love that you always have a plan. I love that you laugh at my sarcasm instead of wince. I love that you are with a man who doesn't judge the looney company you keep- (i.e. my mom. =))
Most of all I love that you tell the truth, always, whether it hurts to hear or not. I was lucky to meet you, have a crush on you for a day, and gain one of the best friends I've ever had. Please come home soon.
xoxo
Wednesday, July 05, 2006
Marvels of Aviation
Here is a picture I took from a catamaran cruise on Lake Tahoe. We spent last Saturday through Tuesday with some friends who own a house up there just hanging out and relaxing. Beautiful scenery, great home-cooked meals and perfect weather were the highlights of the holiday weekend. We slept-in every morning, ate a huge breakfast and walked 6 shorts blocks to the lake where we’d set up base camp. Base camp had at least 6 chairs, blankets, a cooler with snacks and drinks, a raft with two oars, bocce ball, dominoes, rummy cube and more magazines than a newsstand.
At one point 4 of us were playing bones, (that’s dominoes for all you novices,) listening to NWA bobbing our white heads up and down. I told my friend that Easy E must be spinning in his grave wondering where he went wrong. Hubbie kept turning the music down while we kept turning it up. I may be wrong but I think he was a little embarrassed.
The night we took the sunset sail was the only night we went out to a restaurant for dinner. The joint was right on the water and had a cover band playing Hendrix and Zeppelin tunes amongst other 70s favorites. Their specialty drink was a rum runner, (which is the last thing I would order anywhere else, but when in Rome…) After 3 rum rummers, (yep, the typo is intentional,) I was a convert. Dinner was ok, but the entertainment was even better. No, I’m not talking about the cover band. I’m talking about the woman next to us who was so high on crystal meth she only had one shoe on and couldn’t stop dancing in her chair. I saw her attempt to take a bite of food but she just looked at her fork like Superman would kryptonite.
It was then that I realized just how many people in Tahoe had missing teeth and sloppy tattoos. I could almost go so far as to say I was the only one without a tattoo, except for my best friend who’s house we were staying in. All my friends would say when I’d make a comment about it is, “Welcome to norcal Sam.” Huh?
With this said, we all know fun comes with a price. Our flight up was at 8:20 Saturday morning. Hubbie and I had to be up at 6:00 am to get to the airport, park, get through security and for me to take my happy medicine. (Xanax =), it’s the only way to fly.) We were just about to board the plane when over the speaker comes this announcement: “Southwest regrets to inform you that flight #14 is delayed due to a dead battery. Please be patient while we fix this issue and we should be in the air in no time.”
WHAT?!?! Dead battery like when my car’s battery is dead? Did the last pilot leave the radio on? What’s the battery for? Hubbie said to calm down; he heard a Delta plane had cables and was on it’s way over to give us a jump. Hardy har har. The last word I want to hear before boarding a plane is dead! Dead anything. Deadbolt, deadbeat, dead ringer- NOTHING. I kept my cool though and 45 minutes later we boarded the plane for a fabulous long weekend.
Hope ya'll had a great one as well!
Wednesday, June 28, 2006
Daydreaming
Work has been pretty slow lately. Summer usually is but this is getting silly. We have one big job in house right now and the shoot requires a virtual menagerie. Something like 100 different animals on the set over the course of 6 days. I was telling a friend that I just got an invoice for the woodpecker's "handler" citing his fee and list of demands. A "woodpecker rider" if you will. I joked to my friend that the first image I had after reading over the invoice was that of the woodpecker, sitting in his star trailer smoking a cigar and groping the make-up girl; all the while squawking "where the hell's my lunch???"
Meanwhile all I can think about is being here:
That was taken from our condo balcony in Maui. Absolute heaven.
Or here:
I would even settle for being here because at least it was still in Maui:
(Even though the hillbilly couple in front of us kept INTENTIONALLY driving through piles of cow dung just to watch it splatter.) That's the thing about Hawaii though, even when covered in sh*t it's still a good time!
Meanwhile all I can think about is being here:
That was taken from our condo balcony in Maui. Absolute heaven.
Or here:
I would even settle for being here because at least it was still in Maui:
(Even though the hillbilly couple in front of us kept INTENTIONALLY driving through piles of cow dung just to watch it splatter.) That's the thing about Hawaii though, even when covered in sh*t it's still a good time!
Monday, June 26, 2006
Tequila and Popsicles
I went out last Saturday night with "the girls" to a goth-inspired Mexican restaurant for dinner and what turned out to be WAY TOO MANY margaritas. We had to wait a while before being seated so we filled our empty stomachs with booze hoping to quiet the growling. By the time we sat down for dinner we all were stumbling, ravenous, and LITERALLY didn't speak for a good 5 minutes after the food arrived. I had the Caesar salad with steak. Yes, this is an important detail to the story so just keep reading.
When we finished eating one of the girls and I went outside for a cigarette to the packed patio of twenty-somethings waiting for tables at the bar. I guess eating at 9pm like we did is considered the early bird special on a Saturday night, seeing as most of the restaurant’s patrons were eating closer to 11. As we stood out there smoking, purveying the crowd, I noticed a girl wearing a great little corset-like top and matching skirt. I leaned into my friend and said, "look how cute she looks, I love her outfit!" My friend nodded, looked her up and down and kept on smoking. But, just at that moment the girl turned to look over at us and quickly turned away, realizing the two of us were essentially staring at her. Not in a creepy way, but definitely looking. She moved in closer to her friends, (probably for protection,) and I leaned over to her and said exactly what I said to my friend, "hey, I love your outfit, you look great!"
And she says, "ARE YOU MOCKING ME???"
Now, this girl had to have been a good 10 years younger than me, and seemed relatively new to the whole "bar scene.” In fact, she was probably just out of college. Yet, I couldn't help but wonder what happened in her past to have her automatically assume I was MOCKING her by complimenting her choice of clothing?!?! Was she teased by the girls on the playground in grammar school? Did the cheerleading squad spread rumors about her in High School that scarred her for life? Did the sorority girls give her the silent treatment?
Or, are we ladies so inherently competitive with one another that we automatically assume a fellow woman's random compliment most likely is a jab? After assuring her I wasn’t being snide, I went back to our table and felt happy for once to be in my 30s, because that insecure thought would never cross my mind now. Well, unless I saw a couple girls pointing and laughing… I mean, I’m not an idiot! =)
The next morning I woke up and pounded a glass of water. I thought I was thirsty because of the 4 margaritas I drank. Lo and behold, it was not the tequila, but a raging case of food poisoning. I spent most of the day Sunday puking my guts out in between trying to keep chips of ice and licks of popsicle down. Not exactly how I planned on spending the day.
By 4:00 PM the next day my stomach muscles were STILL sore from all the heaving. I was WAY over my “happy to be a strong 30-something woman with relatively good self-esteem” and busy cursing my stupid 30 something body knowing full well in my twenties I would have bounced right back.
And that my friends is the beauty of being a woman- the right to change your mind whenever it suits your mood. =)
When we finished eating one of the girls and I went outside for a cigarette to the packed patio of twenty-somethings waiting for tables at the bar. I guess eating at 9pm like we did is considered the early bird special on a Saturday night, seeing as most of the restaurant’s patrons were eating closer to 11. As we stood out there smoking, purveying the crowd, I noticed a girl wearing a great little corset-like top and matching skirt. I leaned into my friend and said, "look how cute she looks, I love her outfit!" My friend nodded, looked her up and down and kept on smoking. But, just at that moment the girl turned to look over at us and quickly turned away, realizing the two of us were essentially staring at her. Not in a creepy way, but definitely looking. She moved in closer to her friends, (probably for protection,) and I leaned over to her and said exactly what I said to my friend, "hey, I love your outfit, you look great!"
And she says, "ARE YOU MOCKING ME???"
Now, this girl had to have been a good 10 years younger than me, and seemed relatively new to the whole "bar scene.” In fact, she was probably just out of college. Yet, I couldn't help but wonder what happened in her past to have her automatically assume I was MOCKING her by complimenting her choice of clothing?!?! Was she teased by the girls on the playground in grammar school? Did the cheerleading squad spread rumors about her in High School that scarred her for life? Did the sorority girls give her the silent treatment?
Or, are we ladies so inherently competitive with one another that we automatically assume a fellow woman's random compliment most likely is a jab? After assuring her I wasn’t being snide, I went back to our table and felt happy for once to be in my 30s, because that insecure thought would never cross my mind now. Well, unless I saw a couple girls pointing and laughing… I mean, I’m not an idiot! =)
The next morning I woke up and pounded a glass of water. I thought I was thirsty because of the 4 margaritas I drank. Lo and behold, it was not the tequila, but a raging case of food poisoning. I spent most of the day Sunday puking my guts out in between trying to keep chips of ice and licks of popsicle down. Not exactly how I planned on spending the day.
By 4:00 PM the next day my stomach muscles were STILL sore from all the heaving. I was WAY over my “happy to be a strong 30-something woman with relatively good self-esteem” and busy cursing my stupid 30 something body knowing full well in my twenties I would have bounced right back.
And that my friends is the beauty of being a woman- the right to change your mind whenever it suits your mood. =)
Tuesday, June 20, 2006
Put Down the Tongs and Step Away From the BBQ
Last Sunday night Hubbie offered to help a friend install an air conditioning unit in his bedroom. His fiancé and I thought it would be a nice gesture to cook our men dinner after all their sweaty labor and picked up a few things at the market for a BBQ. We found 4 thick juicy rib eye steaks on sale so we snatched them up along with some corn, salad and fixins to make sangria. When we got back to their place we immediately put together the sangria because, well, that was the most important item and the rest could just be thrown together when the guys were ready. Before I know it we're 3 glasses deep and feeling a GREAT sangria buzz when the guys say they're hungry for dinner. My friend asks me to put the steaks on the grill and she'll heat up the beans and boil the corn. I tell her very clearly that I've never manned a BBQ and she insists it's no problem- just throw them on. She runs outside for a second and comes back in saying it's heating up and I can throw the steaks on in a minute. So I do.
And I left them on for all of 8 minutes. Which does NOT seem like a lot of time does it???
When I come back to flip them, what I see is 4 pieces of beef jerky, half the size of the steaks I had just put on minutes before. "What happened!?!?" I screamed to my friend in shock and horror, (with a slight slur from the sangria.) "OH CRAP, I forgot to tell you I had the BBQ on high to heat it up" my friend screams, (slurs,) from the kitchen.
With no way to repair them and nothing else to grill, we put the dog treats, (steaks) on a plate covered with foil. Is it possible that the “reverse-cooking” fairy would pay a visit to our Frisbees while we forced our husbands to drink heavily and eat their salads, corn and beans? Or, maybe they'd just forget all about the steaks we bought?!?
No such luck. As it turned out, we had to bring out the steaks and I'll never forget the look on their faces. As we all cut into our respective leathery discs, (which was no easy feat I tell ya) I say, “wow, I don’t think I’ve ever seen steak turn white.” This prompts Hubbie’s friend to say, “wow, I don’t think I’ve seen dust come out of a steak before.” After a few more jokes about my steak being “the other white meat” we retired our meal and continued drinking into the night.
I gotta say the guys were pretty good sports and I’m really glad we got that meat on sale. I think I’ll stick to good ole’ stovetop cooking and leave the grilling to the men- or at least next time, try it sober.
And I left them on for all of 8 minutes. Which does NOT seem like a lot of time does it???
When I come back to flip them, what I see is 4 pieces of beef jerky, half the size of the steaks I had just put on minutes before. "What happened!?!?" I screamed to my friend in shock and horror, (with a slight slur from the sangria.) "OH CRAP, I forgot to tell you I had the BBQ on high to heat it up" my friend screams, (slurs,) from the kitchen.
With no way to repair them and nothing else to grill, we put the dog treats, (steaks) on a plate covered with foil. Is it possible that the “reverse-cooking” fairy would pay a visit to our Frisbees while we forced our husbands to drink heavily and eat their salads, corn and beans? Or, maybe they'd just forget all about the steaks we bought?!?
No such luck. As it turned out, we had to bring out the steaks and I'll never forget the look on their faces. As we all cut into our respective leathery discs, (which was no easy feat I tell ya) I say, “wow, I don’t think I’ve ever seen steak turn white.” This prompts Hubbie’s friend to say, “wow, I don’t think I’ve seen dust come out of a steak before.” After a few more jokes about my steak being “the other white meat” we retired our meal and continued drinking into the night.
I gotta say the guys were pretty good sports and I’m really glad we got that meat on sale. I think I’ll stick to good ole’ stovetop cooking and leave the grilling to the men- or at least next time, try it sober.
Friday, June 16, 2006
Birthday Boy
This morning on my usual work commute, I saw something quite UNusual. At 7:45 A.M, I see a man, handcuffed, being led towards a police car, naked as the day he was born. Homeboy was not even wearing socks, let alone underwear. He wasn't resisting, just walking along with a policeman on each arm as if he was enjoying their company on a leisurely stroll. Of course I immediately called the hubbie and explained the situation, cackling the whole time. This is exactly why I love living in the city. I can guarantee that I'm not going to get that kind of morning entertainment commuting from the West Valley. I guess after 2 plus years of commuting from what is essentially downtown LA, through Hollywood, through Beverly Hills and arriving in Santa Monica, I’ve become attached to the usual cast of characters that inhabit these areas.
In Silver Lake there’s the crazy guy wearing an ipod, who always pushes his shopping cart into oncoming traffic, completely oblivious that there’s cars are coming. If you honk at him he’ll walk even slower across the street. Closer to mid-city there’s a homeless man that I see that sleeps under the awning of a children’s furniture store. Every morning around 8:00 A.M I see him methodically pack up his bedding, (which is mostly cardboard boxes,) rinse his mouth out with something in a water bottle and dump another water bottle full of liquid out. I’m sure we can all guess what’s in the 2nd bottle but I hope his system never fails him and he mixes up the bottles.
But, my all time favorite is someone I don’t see everyday. I’m not sure if he’s homeless because the sightings are sporadic but he definitely walks to the beat of a different drum...LITERALLY. The first few times I saw him, I was sure that I was missing something. He was dancing and singing to what sort of sounded like James Brown. His eyes were shut, his head thrown back and he was absolutely covered in sweat. I was sure that he must’ve had a walkman on or boombox nearby, BUT NO. Every time I’ve seen him since, he sings at the top of his lungs, dances like a Backstreet Boy on crystal meth and there’s not a musical device in sight. It’s all in his head. The best is when he makes eye contact with you in the car, points and gives you a knowing nod, as if to say, “I know you love this song too, let’s sing it together, come on!”
When I got into work and powered up the computer I was already wanting to go home. I'm tired from a long week, fighting a cold and have a ton of things outside of work on my mind. But at the very least, I remembered to put on clothes this morning, and that makes it a good day.
In Silver Lake there’s the crazy guy wearing an ipod, who always pushes his shopping cart into oncoming traffic, completely oblivious that there’s cars are coming. If you honk at him he’ll walk even slower across the street. Closer to mid-city there’s a homeless man that I see that sleeps under the awning of a children’s furniture store. Every morning around 8:00 A.M I see him methodically pack up his bedding, (which is mostly cardboard boxes,) rinse his mouth out with something in a water bottle and dump another water bottle full of liquid out. I’m sure we can all guess what’s in the 2nd bottle but I hope his system never fails him and he mixes up the bottles.
But, my all time favorite is someone I don’t see everyday. I’m not sure if he’s homeless because the sightings are sporadic but he definitely walks to the beat of a different drum...LITERALLY. The first few times I saw him, I was sure that I was missing something. He was dancing and singing to what sort of sounded like James Brown. His eyes were shut, his head thrown back and he was absolutely covered in sweat. I was sure that he must’ve had a walkman on or boombox nearby, BUT NO. Every time I’ve seen him since, he sings at the top of his lungs, dances like a Backstreet Boy on crystal meth and there’s not a musical device in sight. It’s all in his head. The best is when he makes eye contact with you in the car, points and gives you a knowing nod, as if to say, “I know you love this song too, let’s sing it together, come on!”
When I got into work and powered up the computer I was already wanting to go home. I'm tired from a long week, fighting a cold and have a ton of things outside of work on my mind. But at the very least, I remembered to put on clothes this morning, and that makes it a good day.
Tuesday, June 13, 2006
It's only rock n' roll but I like it
There are a few bands that I always dreamed of seeing but knew I never would. Deaths, break-ups and the fact that I was barely in High School were some main obstacles. I used to slow dance with myself to Duran Duran, crying because I knew I’d never meet, let alone see Simon LeBon perform. Later I was too young to drive to concerts (and too broke,) to see bands like The Ramones, Echo & the Bunnymen and the Damned. I did however have cool folks who took me to the Rolling Stones, (Guns n’ Roses opened,) Billy Joel, Michael Jackson, (that was a friend’s parents- my folks thought there was something wrong with him… go figure,) and MC Hammer. Please- save the jokes-at the time he was the bomb. =)
Now that this 80s re-emergence is happening, I’ve actually had a chance to see some bands that I was sure I’d never see. Shows that I only dreamed of in my tiny room when I was 9 years old. I saw Duran Duran last year and cried when they played "The Chauffer." I saw the GoGo’s at the Greek a couple years ago, and actually hung out backstage watching Belinda playing with her baby. A far stretch from her punk days playing with The Germs. I saw the Pixies a few times on their reunion tour. (Although, I didn’t discover them when I was that young, as soon as I heard them I knew I had to see Frank Black screaming.) Tonight I saw Echo & The Bunnymen, which blew me away. They sounded better than the albums. This is such a big deal for me because these are childhood dreams come true.
However, the one band I missed and will never reunite is Nirvana. And I still get choked up hearing Kurt’s voice. I think a lot of people my age do. I guarantee that almost every gen-Xer will tell you where they were when they heard of his death.
Music is such a powerful part of our lives. Just the way a familiar smell can conjure memories, so can a song. I’m thrilled that music has veered away from that awful rap/rock back to real rock n’ roll. And I’m sure I’m going to end up like my mom, who was playing the Stones when I was 3 years old, saying “tempo Samantha, tempo” as I banged my spoon on my high chair to the music. I feel sorry for anyone who can listen to Elliott Smith and not cry- or at the very least reflect. I feel sorry for people who are so close-minded that they only listen to one type of music, (and please- for the love of GOD, don’t let that be jazz.) I just told a friend that I was sure I lost my membership card to the punk-rock club because I just bought Lionel Richie’s “Easy” on itunes. Yet, that falls right next to The Locust on my ipod. (Please check them out if you have no idea who I’m talking about.)
I suppose what I’m trying to say is never let that passion go because it keeps you young. My first entry into my very first diary, (when I was 8,) was that I saw my favorite video on MTV that day- “Safety Dance” if you can believe it. I went out and bought the record. I still get that same giddy feeling at 31, listening to The Dandy Warhols, as when I was 15 listening to Cinderella’s “Don’t Know What You Got Til It’s Gone.” (Which is still an awesome song!)
I think everyone should have an ipod, or hell, a walkman, and have some private rock out time at least once a week. It’ll change your life!
Now that this 80s re-emergence is happening, I’ve actually had a chance to see some bands that I was sure I’d never see. Shows that I only dreamed of in my tiny room when I was 9 years old. I saw Duran Duran last year and cried when they played "The Chauffer." I saw the GoGo’s at the Greek a couple years ago, and actually hung out backstage watching Belinda playing with her baby. A far stretch from her punk days playing with The Germs. I saw the Pixies a few times on their reunion tour. (Although, I didn’t discover them when I was that young, as soon as I heard them I knew I had to see Frank Black screaming.) Tonight I saw Echo & The Bunnymen, which blew me away. They sounded better than the albums. This is such a big deal for me because these are childhood dreams come true.
However, the one band I missed and will never reunite is Nirvana. And I still get choked up hearing Kurt’s voice. I think a lot of people my age do. I guarantee that almost every gen-Xer will tell you where they were when they heard of his death.
Music is such a powerful part of our lives. Just the way a familiar smell can conjure memories, so can a song. I’m thrilled that music has veered away from that awful rap/rock back to real rock n’ roll. And I’m sure I’m going to end up like my mom, who was playing the Stones when I was 3 years old, saying “tempo Samantha, tempo” as I banged my spoon on my high chair to the music. I feel sorry for anyone who can listen to Elliott Smith and not cry- or at the very least reflect. I feel sorry for people who are so close-minded that they only listen to one type of music, (and please- for the love of GOD, don’t let that be jazz.) I just told a friend that I was sure I lost my membership card to the punk-rock club because I just bought Lionel Richie’s “Easy” on itunes. Yet, that falls right next to The Locust on my ipod. (Please check them out if you have no idea who I’m talking about.)
I suppose what I’m trying to say is never let that passion go because it keeps you young. My first entry into my very first diary, (when I was 8,) was that I saw my favorite video on MTV that day- “Safety Dance” if you can believe it. I went out and bought the record. I still get that same giddy feeling at 31, listening to The Dandy Warhols, as when I was 15 listening to Cinderella’s “Don’t Know What You Got Til It’s Gone.” (Which is still an awesome song!)
I think everyone should have an ipod, or hell, a walkman, and have some private rock out time at least once a week. It’ll change your life!
Tuesday, June 06, 2006
You Can Never Go Home Again
From USA Today:
"President Bush will promote a constitutional amendment banning gay marriage on Monday, the eve of a scheduled Senate vote on the cause that is dear to his conservative backers."
"The president firmly believes that marriage is an enduring and sacred institution between men and women and has supported measures to protect the sanctity of marriage," White House spokesman Ken Lisaius said.
Nothing gets my blood boiling faster than Bush talking about the "sanctity of marriage". Marriage is as sacred as you choose it to be. If he is so concerned about the sanctity of marriage, why not ban divorce? Or any further Spears nuptials? I can't stand the logic of this monkey. Why is this even an issue? And if I hear one more person say something along the lines of, "if we allow gay marriage, what's next? Can I marry my cat?..." I'll throw myself in front of a bus. There are SO MANY MORE important issues today than AMENDING THE CONSTITUTION to define marriage.
I could go on and on and on but since I imagine most of my readers agree with me, (or else!!!,) I won't beat a dead horse.
In other news, Hubbie and I spent yet another Sunday house hunting last weekend. The longer we pound the pavement trolling open houses out of our price range, the more my mom tries to convince us to move back to the valley. I'm still unsure of her motives seeing as she keeps mentioning houses that are within 5 miles of hers. Yes, houses are a tad bit cheaper out there but it comes with a different price. No good restaurants, bars, shopping or music venues are the first things to come to mind. Of course with a house payment I don't imagine I'll be able to experience those with any regularity anyway.
I just don't know if I'm ready to go back there yet. Back to acrylic nails and permed hair. Bass thumping from lifted trucks and kids loitering at taco bell. (Yes, I know I was once one of those kids.) Having to go to a mall just to see a movie and never being able to find a parking spot. Is it worth it?
Ok, time for a coworker's birthday party in the kitchen. Cake and beer- is there a better combination?
"President Bush will promote a constitutional amendment banning gay marriage on Monday, the eve of a scheduled Senate vote on the cause that is dear to his conservative backers."
"The president firmly believes that marriage is an enduring and sacred institution between men and women and has supported measures to protect the sanctity of marriage," White House spokesman Ken Lisaius said.
Nothing gets my blood boiling faster than Bush talking about the "sanctity of marriage". Marriage is as sacred as you choose it to be. If he is so concerned about the sanctity of marriage, why not ban divorce? Or any further Spears nuptials? I can't stand the logic of this monkey. Why is this even an issue? And if I hear one more person say something along the lines of, "if we allow gay marriage, what's next? Can I marry my cat?..." I'll throw myself in front of a bus. There are SO MANY MORE important issues today than AMENDING THE CONSTITUTION to define marriage.
I could go on and on and on but since I imagine most of my readers agree with me, (or else!!!,) I won't beat a dead horse.
In other news, Hubbie and I spent yet another Sunday house hunting last weekend. The longer we pound the pavement trolling open houses out of our price range, the more my mom tries to convince us to move back to the valley. I'm still unsure of her motives seeing as she keeps mentioning houses that are within 5 miles of hers. Yes, houses are a tad bit cheaper out there but it comes with a different price. No good restaurants, bars, shopping or music venues are the first things to come to mind. Of course with a house payment I don't imagine I'll be able to experience those with any regularity anyway.
I just don't know if I'm ready to go back there yet. Back to acrylic nails and permed hair. Bass thumping from lifted trucks and kids loitering at taco bell. (Yes, I know I was once one of those kids.) Having to go to a mall just to see a movie and never being able to find a parking spot. Is it worth it?
Ok, time for a coworker's birthday party in the kitchen. Cake and beer- is there a better combination?
Tuesday, May 30, 2006
Soundtrack of Our Lives?
My ipod and I had an interesting evening at the Laundromat tonight. I decided to go to the one around the corner from my work instead of our local joint. And, being alone at a Laundromat with only my ipod to keep me company, truly makes it a whole different experience. Everything seems to go with whatever is playing at the time.
Such as; me throwing the heaviest load into the bottom dryer, (sweating profusely,) with my nose right in line with a toddler who had THE SMELLIEST DIAPER IN THE WORLD while listening to "Holiday in Cambodia" by the Dead Kennedys. I kept looking up to his father (gagging,) hoping he would read my mind but all I could do was deal with the rancid stench while hearing "Pol, Pot, Pol, Pot..."
Next observation- Tears for Fears, "Mad World" playing while I sat on the folding table looking around the room.
"All around me are familiar faces
Worn out places
Worn out faces
Bright and early for the daily races
Going no where Going no where..."
I looked over at the single mom folding a zillion onesies and bibs with her own ipod around her neck. I wonder what she was listening to?
I looked over at the rocker with long hair, filling the washing machine with nothing but faded black t-shirts, rocking out to his ipod. Probably Black Sabbath.
I looked over at the awkward 40-something computer geek fiddling with the broken dryer, trying to get the coin-op employee's attention to no avail- still with his ipod earphones in. Now, to his defense, he probably turned his music down. My guess it was Radiohead.
I couldn't have picked a more perfect soundtrack if I tried.
We've become so detached as a society. Everyone is either on the phone or has the ipod ear buds tightly tucked in. I wonder if in a different time, a different place, maybe those of us together at the Laundromat would find something to talk about to pass the time?
Such as; me throwing the heaviest load into the bottom dryer, (sweating profusely,) with my nose right in line with a toddler who had THE SMELLIEST DIAPER IN THE WORLD while listening to "Holiday in Cambodia" by the Dead Kennedys. I kept looking up to his father (gagging,) hoping he would read my mind but all I could do was deal with the rancid stench while hearing "Pol, Pot, Pol, Pot..."
Next observation- Tears for Fears, "Mad World" playing while I sat on the folding table looking around the room.
"All around me are familiar faces
Worn out places
Worn out faces
Bright and early for the daily races
Going no where Going no where..."
I looked over at the single mom folding a zillion onesies and bibs with her own ipod around her neck. I wonder what she was listening to?
I looked over at the rocker with long hair, filling the washing machine with nothing but faded black t-shirts, rocking out to his ipod. Probably Black Sabbath.
I looked over at the awkward 40-something computer geek fiddling with the broken dryer, trying to get the coin-op employee's attention to no avail- still with his ipod earphones in. Now, to his defense, he probably turned his music down. My guess it was Radiohead.
I couldn't have picked a more perfect soundtrack if I tried.
We've become so detached as a society. Everyone is either on the phone or has the ipod ear buds tightly tucked in. I wonder if in a different time, a different place, maybe those of us together at the Laundromat would find something to talk about to pass the time?
Thursday, May 25, 2006
Let's Get Ready To RUUMMMBBLE!!!
Last night I made dinner for Hubbie so he could have a nice hot meal after a hideously long day. All the oven and stove top cooking made our tiny apartment pretty warm, so when bedtime came Hubbie turned on the AC. We have a little, (but nonetheless very powerful,) window unit in the bedroom that we bought one scorching summer. The retailer, (which shall remain nameless,) had sold out of all their units and so began a bidding war for the remaining displays. After an hour or so of begging and haggling we outbid a family with two young children. Two young, sweet, sweat- soaked children.
When we got outside to load our booty into the trunk I started to feel bad. That lasted right up until Hubbie got it installed in the bedroom window, and our apartment went from a sweltering 90 degrees, to a crisp 68. The only catch about this unit is that it doesn’t maintain the room temperature, it just blows cold air until you turn it off. Which, in a nutshell means you can turn it on and be comfortable for a couple hours, and before you know it the tips of your fingers are black with frostbite.
Last night I’m pretty sure Hubbie set the unit to 50 degrees while I wasn’t looking. I woke up, teeth chattering, tongue numb and pulled the covers up and over my head. As soon as I fell back asleep I was jolted awake by a swift jerk of the comforter to the other side of the bed, thereby leaving my body vulnerable to the elements. So I tugged back, which elicited a nasty reaction from Hubbie trying to claim I had all the covers and why was I being so selfish!?!?
This tug of war lasted ALL NIGHT, and when I got up in the morning, (with bags under my eyes and an icicle hanging off my runny nose,) I couldn’t help but begin to plot his demise. As I got up to make the coffee, I noticed his feet hanging out from the bottom of the blanket and I just snickered and didn’t stop to cover them up, even though they were starting to turn that pale shade of blue.
And then I remembered my grandparents, who as long as I remembered slept in side by side twin beds, and how lonely that seemed. Is this how it started for them? So, I went back into the room, covered up his feet and gave him a kiss good morning.
When we got outside to load our booty into the trunk I started to feel bad. That lasted right up until Hubbie got it installed in the bedroom window, and our apartment went from a sweltering 90 degrees, to a crisp 68. The only catch about this unit is that it doesn’t maintain the room temperature, it just blows cold air until you turn it off. Which, in a nutshell means you can turn it on and be comfortable for a couple hours, and before you know it the tips of your fingers are black with frostbite.
Last night I’m pretty sure Hubbie set the unit to 50 degrees while I wasn’t looking. I woke up, teeth chattering, tongue numb and pulled the covers up and over my head. As soon as I fell back asleep I was jolted awake by a swift jerk of the comforter to the other side of the bed, thereby leaving my body vulnerable to the elements. So I tugged back, which elicited a nasty reaction from Hubbie trying to claim I had all the covers and why was I being so selfish!?!?
This tug of war lasted ALL NIGHT, and when I got up in the morning, (with bags under my eyes and an icicle hanging off my runny nose,) I couldn’t help but begin to plot his demise. As I got up to make the coffee, I noticed his feet hanging out from the bottom of the blanket and I just snickered and didn’t stop to cover them up, even though they were starting to turn that pale shade of blue.
And then I remembered my grandparents, who as long as I remembered slept in side by side twin beds, and how lonely that seemed. Is this how it started for them? So, I went back into the room, covered up his feet and gave him a kiss good morning.
Wednesday, May 24, 2006
DMV Rant- Yield For Whiners
Last night Hubbie got pulled over by two bicycle cops. As if that isn't emasculating enough, it happened right in front of me since we were following each other after work. Right now we're in the middle of a grizzly DMV mix up of Three's Company proportions. Here’s the deal. The car, (that Hubbie was driving which is technically my car,) is a Ford Explorer. Both my parents also drive Explorers. Our car was registered at their address. The new tags were mailed to their house. My mom, in one of her manic states tore open the tags, read FORD across the top of the page, and immediately slapped those puppies on her car. Her brand new Ford that already had brand new registration stickers on it. But I digress.
Months later I wondered to myself, “hmm, what ever happened to my registration tags?” That very weekend we got two parking tickets in a row for lack of tags. Hubbie nearly blew a gasket. (Pun intended.) With a few phone calls and raised voices we figured out what had happened and we all took a vote and decided that Hubbie should be the one to go to the DMV to sort it out.
Because he’s the most patient, that’s why!
Easier said than done. I consider Hubbie to be quite smart. He’s private school and college educated, well read, cultured, AND YET, he couldn’t understand at all what the woman at the DMV was asking him to do. He took the paperwork he thought he needed and left. Now I could easily go on yet another rant about DMV employees, but, well, it’s too easy a target. He filled out the paperwork as best he could but in the interim became so busy at work he never got back to the DMV.
Then we got another parking ticket for lack of registration tags.
My question is this. Our car IS indeed registered. Paid for through 2006. When the cops on training wheels pulled him over last night and started writing the ticket, why couldn’t they run the car and see on the computer that it IS registered, just missing the little dumb stickers??? Why do I keep writing run-on sentences!?!?
I know what it is. This is karma. Karma for driving an SUV. Well, I’ll have you know Karmic gods that we are SERIOUSLY considering buying a hybrid car. Now will you leave us be??
Months later I wondered to myself, “hmm, what ever happened to my registration tags?” That very weekend we got two parking tickets in a row for lack of tags. Hubbie nearly blew a gasket. (Pun intended.) With a few phone calls and raised voices we figured out what had happened and we all took a vote and decided that Hubbie should be the one to go to the DMV to sort it out.
Because he’s the most patient, that’s why!
Easier said than done. I consider Hubbie to be quite smart. He’s private school and college educated, well read, cultured, AND YET, he couldn’t understand at all what the woman at the DMV was asking him to do. He took the paperwork he thought he needed and left. Now I could easily go on yet another rant about DMV employees, but, well, it’s too easy a target. He filled out the paperwork as best he could but in the interim became so busy at work he never got back to the DMV.
Then we got another parking ticket for lack of registration tags.
My question is this. Our car IS indeed registered. Paid for through 2006. When the cops on training wheels pulled him over last night and started writing the ticket, why couldn’t they run the car and see on the computer that it IS registered, just missing the little dumb stickers??? Why do I keep writing run-on sentences!?!?
I know what it is. This is karma. Karma for driving an SUV. Well, I’ll have you know Karmic gods that we are SERIOUSLY considering buying a hybrid car. Now will you leave us be??
Tuesday, May 23, 2006
100 Things About Me
Isn't this some sort of blogger's rite of passage?
1. I was born on my mom's birthday- October 25th
2. She claims it happened because she is "very organized."
3. I'm an only child and I like that.
4. I have a half brother and step-sister, but never lived with either.
5. My parents separated before I was born so I never lived with both of them in the same house. I can't even imagine it.
6. My mom remarried when I was five to a really cool guy 13 years younger than her.
7. They're still married 25 years later and he's great.
8. My dad married a woman from Texas who was ghost writer and phone psychic.
9. She used to read my tarot cards in the morning and I never knew what she was talking about.
10. I began ice skating for fun when I was 6 years old.
11. I continued to competitively skate until I was 11.
12. I also took gymnastics and ballet concurrently.
13. I quit skating because I wanted more time to be a kid.
14. I don't regret that decision anymore.
15. I went on to compete in cheerleading and really enjoyed it.
16. That probably isn't a surprise coming from the girl who writes a blog called silly tales from a former valley girl.
17. I was also on my High School tennis team.
18. Cheerleading is my favorite sport to watch on television.
19. When I was in high school the cool thing to do was meet up at the Taco Bell parking lot.
20. And smoke pot.
21. And go to the mall. (Yes, it was just like the movie Valley Girl.)
22. There wasn't much to do in the little town of West Hills but it was a great place to raise kids.
23. I ran away from home when I was 17 and lived with my best friend and her parents.
24. I don't recommend teenagers do this, but to this day I still look back on those few months fondly.
25. I'm still best friends with that girl today.
26. I went to school in Santa Barbara from 93-97.
27. My last year there our house had a deck overlooking the ocean and I can’t believe how lucky I was to have lived in a house like that.
28. In college I worked at a Mexican restaurant that I still stop by if I'm on my way through town because they make the best breakfast burritos IN THE WORLD.
29. Yes, I realize that's a bold statement and I challenge any of you to prove me wrong.
30. My girl friends mean the world to me and they are the closest things I have to sisters.
31. I'm a newlywed to a man I’ve been with for 6 years.
32. We lived together for 3 years before the wedding.
33. He's a brilliant, funny, loving and awesome man and I'm lucky to have him.
34. He’s also the son of a preacher man.
35. And I’m Jewish.
36. But, we’re a great team.
37. Before him I had one other long-term relationship. (a little over a year.)
38. My first (and only,) high school boyfriend was shot and killed at a party the night before Thanksgiving, 1990.
39. He was 15 and had just received a 1500 on his pre-SATs. He would have had a very bright future.
40. I spent a lot of my senior year in high school sitting on his grave.
41. My father was a musician who could play countless instruments.
42. My mom can sing and play guitar.
43. I can’t do either.
44. That doesn’t stop me from being a HUGE fan of music.
45. The Dandy Warhols are my favorite band.
46. I don’t have any tattoos and I don’t plan on ever getting any.
47. In the past I’ve had my nose, belly button and inner ear pierced but took them all out.
48. I don’t watch much television, but given the chance I’d watch Food Network all day long.
49. I love to cook.
50. I really want to be a better cook and vow to take lessons one of these days.
51. My mom is a really good cook and loves to entertain. I learn a lot from her.
52. My paternal grandmother’s family is from Naples. She taught my mom all the old school Italian recipes.
53. My mom keeps the recipe for her red sauce in a fire proof safe.
54. I’ve never broken a bone.
55. I split my chin open once ice skating, but the ice numbed it so fast I didn’t know what happened.
56. Until I looked down and saw blood all over my chest.
57. My family used to vacation in Palm Springs about twice a year throughout my childhood.
58.That was pretty much the only place I’d been on vacation until I was 14 and went on “Teen Tour,” a 6 week trip around the states with, (you guessed it,) all teens.
59. It was the first time I’d been away from home longer than a weekend.
60. It was one of the best experiences of my life.
61. I make friends pretty easily. I usually like someone before I dislike them.
62. Ever since that trip I’ve always itched to travel.
63. In college my friend and I would throw a bag in the car and just head north- not knowing what we’d find.
64. Eventually we had a purpose for doing that. We followed the Grateful Dead to 5 states.
65. Again, some of the best times of my life.
66. My husband and I drove across the country shortly after Sept. 11th.
67. Between that trip and teen tour I’ve seen almost every state in the US- including Hawaii. (We honeymooned there.)
68. Other countries I’ve visited are Mexico, France, Belgium, England and Canada. France is by far my favorite.
69. I plan on going to Italy in the fall of 2007 and hope to get some language classes in before I go.
70. I’m scared to death of flying.
71. I usually have to be medicated and a little tipsy before taking off.
72. I wish I could get over that.
73. The only time I feel worse than in an airline seat is in the dentist chair.
74. For some reason I just start sweating before they do anything!
75. My father committed suicide the summer before I turned 21.
76. I still think about him and miss him daily.
77. He was cremated so I don’t have a grave to sit on… and that’s probably a good thing.
78. I’m VERY pro-choice and VERY pro gay marriage.
79. I love Howard Stern and listen to him on Sirius.
80. I’d probably be categorized as a moderate Democrat.
81. One of my biggest pet peeves is when people poke me in the arm with their finger to get my attention. SO ANNOYING.
82. I work in advertising/ commercial production so thankfully that doesn’t happen THAT often. =)
83. I love my job and I love the company I work for.
84. I used to work for an Executive Producer who always had gum in her hair, holes in her nylons and ate bacon and ice cream with her fingers for breakfast.
85. I’ll never reveal her name because she has more money than God and would sue my pants off.
86. Although my best friend IS an attorney…
87. My favorite cocktail is a dry martini w/ two olives.
88. When I have too many cocktails I tend to lose my balance.
89. I laugh when other people fall so it’s probably my punishment.
90. I wish I was more artistic. I can’t even draw a stick figure.
91. I have flat feet just like my dad.
92. There’s nothing I love more than a warm desert night.
93. I’ve been dying my hair since I was 12, (again, from a valley girl are you surprised?) It’s been black, purple, hot pink, green, brown, blond and it’s current color- dark brown.
94. I wasn’t allowed to get my ears pierced until I was 13 so I think I went a little crazy w/ the hair.
95. I love animals and will pet just about anything with fur.
96. Not a fan of bugs and most reptiles. (Except for those cute iguanas that run around Puerto Vallarta.)
97. The next show I’m going to is Echo & the Bunnymen.
98. I’m a bridesmaid in 2 more weddings this year.
99. That should make for some fun blog entries!
100. We’ve just skimmed the surface.
1. I was born on my mom's birthday- October 25th
2. She claims it happened because she is "very organized."
3. I'm an only child and I like that.
4. I have a half brother and step-sister, but never lived with either.
5. My parents separated before I was born so I never lived with both of them in the same house. I can't even imagine it.
6. My mom remarried when I was five to a really cool guy 13 years younger than her.
7. They're still married 25 years later and he's great.
8. My dad married a woman from Texas who was ghost writer and phone psychic.
9. She used to read my tarot cards in the morning and I never knew what she was talking about.
10. I began ice skating for fun when I was 6 years old.
11. I continued to competitively skate until I was 11.
12. I also took gymnastics and ballet concurrently.
13. I quit skating because I wanted more time to be a kid.
14. I don't regret that decision anymore.
15. I went on to compete in cheerleading and really enjoyed it.
16. That probably isn't a surprise coming from the girl who writes a blog called silly tales from a former valley girl.
17. I was also on my High School tennis team.
18. Cheerleading is my favorite sport to watch on television.
19. When I was in high school the cool thing to do was meet up at the Taco Bell parking lot.
20. And smoke pot.
21. And go to the mall. (Yes, it was just like the movie Valley Girl.)
22. There wasn't much to do in the little town of West Hills but it was a great place to raise kids.
23. I ran away from home when I was 17 and lived with my best friend and her parents.
24. I don't recommend teenagers do this, but to this day I still look back on those few months fondly.
25. I'm still best friends with that girl today.
26. I went to school in Santa Barbara from 93-97.
27. My last year there our house had a deck overlooking the ocean and I can’t believe how lucky I was to have lived in a house like that.
28. In college I worked at a Mexican restaurant that I still stop by if I'm on my way through town because they make the best breakfast burritos IN THE WORLD.
29. Yes, I realize that's a bold statement and I challenge any of you to prove me wrong.
30. My girl friends mean the world to me and they are the closest things I have to sisters.
31. I'm a newlywed to a man I’ve been with for 6 years.
32. We lived together for 3 years before the wedding.
33. He's a brilliant, funny, loving and awesome man and I'm lucky to have him.
34. He’s also the son of a preacher man.
35. And I’m Jewish.
36. But, we’re a great team.
37. Before him I had one other long-term relationship. (a little over a year.)
38. My first (and only,) high school boyfriend was shot and killed at a party the night before Thanksgiving, 1990.
39. He was 15 and had just received a 1500 on his pre-SATs. He would have had a very bright future.
40. I spent a lot of my senior year in high school sitting on his grave.
41. My father was a musician who could play countless instruments.
42. My mom can sing and play guitar.
43. I can’t do either.
44. That doesn’t stop me from being a HUGE fan of music.
45. The Dandy Warhols are my favorite band.
46. I don’t have any tattoos and I don’t plan on ever getting any.
47. In the past I’ve had my nose, belly button and inner ear pierced but took them all out.
48. I don’t watch much television, but given the chance I’d watch Food Network all day long.
49. I love to cook.
50. I really want to be a better cook and vow to take lessons one of these days.
51. My mom is a really good cook and loves to entertain. I learn a lot from her.
52. My paternal grandmother’s family is from Naples. She taught my mom all the old school Italian recipes.
53. My mom keeps the recipe for her red sauce in a fire proof safe.
54. I’ve never broken a bone.
55. I split my chin open once ice skating, but the ice numbed it so fast I didn’t know what happened.
56. Until I looked down and saw blood all over my chest.
57. My family used to vacation in Palm Springs about twice a year throughout my childhood.
58.That was pretty much the only place I’d been on vacation until I was 14 and went on “Teen Tour,” a 6 week trip around the states with, (you guessed it,) all teens.
59. It was the first time I’d been away from home longer than a weekend.
60. It was one of the best experiences of my life.
61. I make friends pretty easily. I usually like someone before I dislike them.
62. Ever since that trip I’ve always itched to travel.
63. In college my friend and I would throw a bag in the car and just head north- not knowing what we’d find.
64. Eventually we had a purpose for doing that. We followed the Grateful Dead to 5 states.
65. Again, some of the best times of my life.
66. My husband and I drove across the country shortly after Sept. 11th.
67. Between that trip and teen tour I’ve seen almost every state in the US- including Hawaii. (We honeymooned there.)
68. Other countries I’ve visited are Mexico, France, Belgium, England and Canada. France is by far my favorite.
69. I plan on going to Italy in the fall of 2007 and hope to get some language classes in before I go.
70. I’m scared to death of flying.
71. I usually have to be medicated and a little tipsy before taking off.
72. I wish I could get over that.
73. The only time I feel worse than in an airline seat is in the dentist chair.
74. For some reason I just start sweating before they do anything!
75. My father committed suicide the summer before I turned 21.
76. I still think about him and miss him daily.
77. He was cremated so I don’t have a grave to sit on… and that’s probably a good thing.
78. I’m VERY pro-choice and VERY pro gay marriage.
79. I love Howard Stern and listen to him on Sirius.
80. I’d probably be categorized as a moderate Democrat.
81. One of my biggest pet peeves is when people poke me in the arm with their finger to get my attention. SO ANNOYING.
82. I work in advertising/ commercial production so thankfully that doesn’t happen THAT often. =)
83. I love my job and I love the company I work for.
84. I used to work for an Executive Producer who always had gum in her hair, holes in her nylons and ate bacon and ice cream with her fingers for breakfast.
85. I’ll never reveal her name because she has more money than God and would sue my pants off.
86. Although my best friend IS an attorney…
87. My favorite cocktail is a dry martini w/ two olives.
88. When I have too many cocktails I tend to lose my balance.
89. I laugh when other people fall so it’s probably my punishment.
90. I wish I was more artistic. I can’t even draw a stick figure.
91. I have flat feet just like my dad.
92. There’s nothing I love more than a warm desert night.
93. I’ve been dying my hair since I was 12, (again, from a valley girl are you surprised?) It’s been black, purple, hot pink, green, brown, blond and it’s current color- dark brown.
94. I wasn’t allowed to get my ears pierced until I was 13 so I think I went a little crazy w/ the hair.
95. I love animals and will pet just about anything with fur.
96. Not a fan of bugs and most reptiles. (Except for those cute iguanas that run around Puerto Vallarta.)
97. The next show I’m going to is Echo & the Bunnymen.
98. I’m a bridesmaid in 2 more weddings this year.
99. That should make for some fun blog entries!
100. We’ve just skimmed the surface.
Monday, May 22, 2006
Dancing Queen
I know I promised you all a review of that certain Ron Howard movie based on a novel found in every airport bookstore, but I have a confession. I was just too hungover to make it. We were supposed to go see it Sunday at 7pm and that was exactly the time i woke up from my nap to brush my teeth and go to bed. However, I can give you a review of the first 15 minutes of Last Holiday with Queen Latifah because that's how far I got into it before falling asleep. 2 thumbs up!!
The hubbie and I went to an engagement party the night before. 4 french martinis and 2 glasses of champagne later I was twirling on the dancefloor like Ginger Rogers. (ok ok, more like Mr. Rogers because I kept trying to lead, but I eventually got the hang of it.) Today my legs hurt so much I'm actually considering stopping at Rite Aid on the way home to pick up some IcyHot. I have GOT to get back in the gym.
Earlier on Saturday the hubbie and I went househunting. In Los Angeles on a budget, that's tantamount to finding a parking space at the mall the day after Christmas. When you find one, there are 14 other people ready to pounce on it and they'll draw blood if need be. So, we'll just keep looking- along with the rest of the city. I can't wait for the day we find a house that has a bathroom big enough so hubbie can sit on the toilet and not hit his knees on the tub. Or even better, one that has enough storage that we can actually have our wedding gifts in our home, rather than my mom's garage!
Ok, back to work. Happy Monday!
The hubbie and I went to an engagement party the night before. 4 french martinis and 2 glasses of champagne later I was twirling on the dancefloor like Ginger Rogers. (ok ok, more like Mr. Rogers because I kept trying to lead, but I eventually got the hang of it.) Today my legs hurt so much I'm actually considering stopping at Rite Aid on the way home to pick up some IcyHot. I have GOT to get back in the gym.
Earlier on Saturday the hubbie and I went househunting. In Los Angeles on a budget, that's tantamount to finding a parking space at the mall the day after Christmas. When you find one, there are 14 other people ready to pounce on it and they'll draw blood if need be. So, we'll just keep looking- along with the rest of the city. I can't wait for the day we find a house that has a bathroom big enough so hubbie can sit on the toilet and not hit his knees on the tub. Or even better, one that has enough storage that we can actually have our wedding gifts in our home, rather than my mom's garage!
Ok, back to work. Happy Monday!
Friday, May 19, 2006
Losing my virginity
This, my friends is my very first post to my very first blog. I've thought about starting one for a couple months now, but never got around to it. Now that the clock at my work seems to actually be moving BACKWARDS, I figured there's no time like the present!
Tonight I'm supposed to attend a screening of a certain Ron Howard movie based on a novel sold at every airport bookstore. Anyone? Anyone?
I'll let you know what I thought next time. In the meantime I'll give you a quick list of my favorite movies.
1. Harold & Maude
2. Flirting With Disaster ("Paul, could you find another seat please?")
3. Beautiful Girls
4. Amelie
5. Arizona Dream (2 shots and 2 beers.)
6. Valley Girl =)
7. Dig! (Run, don't walk to rent this doc about 2 of the best bands around...)
8. In America
9. The Big Chill
10. Pieces of April
On that note I'm going back to work. Is it yesterday? Ugh.
I promise this blog won't always be this boring. (I hope.) Have a good weekend folks and stay tuned for the weekend in review on Monday.
xoxo
Tonight I'm supposed to attend a screening of a certain Ron Howard movie based on a novel sold at every airport bookstore. Anyone? Anyone?
I'll let you know what I thought next time. In the meantime I'll give you a quick list of my favorite movies.
1. Harold & Maude
2. Flirting With Disaster ("Paul, could you find another seat please?")
3. Beautiful Girls
4. Amelie
5. Arizona Dream (2 shots and 2 beers.)
6. Valley Girl =)
7. Dig! (Run, don't walk to rent this doc about 2 of the best bands around...)
8. In America
9. The Big Chill
10. Pieces of April
On that note I'm going back to work. Is it yesterday? Ugh.
I promise this blog won't always be this boring. (I hope.) Have a good weekend folks and stay tuned for the weekend in review on Monday.
xoxo
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
